I Went Shopping Today

*The song “Buttons” by the Pussycat Dolls is playing in the background while I’m writing this.*

My feet. They are better now.

What I did was to clean feet with warm water and then soak them in hot water. The moment I dip my feet into the pail, my feet turns itchy. Maybe hot water is killing naughty things under swollen feet in which resulted in the itch.

Then, I wipe my feet dry. Apply Bao Fu Lin (???). An ointment that was bought during our trip to Shanghai a few years back. It’s a produce of Beijing but we bought it in Shanghai. Sorry Devil, Eurax just didn’t seem to have any effect on me. Bao Fu Lin is amazing. What those Chinese people did in their product demo was to hold a red, hot burning chain with their bare hands. As soon as their hands are burnt, they walk around showing fellow spectators their roasted palm. And then, they apply Bao Fu Lin and then skin goes back to normal. Then, I discovered that some people make a living by burning their own hands.

Anyway, the ointment is good for scalds, burns as well as itches. It smells like Mopiko. I like the cool tingly menthol feeling.

And because my feet are getting better. I was out shopping today.

Bought:

1. Keyboard and mouse. Black colour.

2. Dress. Black with flowers. I think I’m going to wear this to my cousin sister’s wedding. Nice dresses are hard to come by. So when I see one and if it’s not too expensive, I would buy and keep it for a special occasion. And to get one that fits you perfectly is rare. Like how there are good guys out there but to find the one right for you can be daunting but at times simple if the timing is right. Like how the timing was right for me today to be able to meet Ms.Pretty Dress.

3. A few tees. My favourite one has got a monkey on it.

4. A pair of sandals. Nice and cheap. If possible, would want to wear it to sleep tonight. (Okay, I’m just kidding!)

Met:

1. A hometown friend. Someone I have not met for ages. 6 years. This Malay girl was laughing when she saw Iris and me. Pointing and laughing. It took me a while to figure out who she was. I mean if she’s pointing and laughing at you, you sure do know you know her. She’s the sister of my sister’s first boyfriend. Heh. My parents never knew about her dating a Malay guy. As always, I’m the secret keeper. It’s not easy being a secret keeper and an elder sister together at the same time, I got to keep the secret from my parents (else parents will kill sister) and I had to take care of sister to make sure she is okay (else parents will kill me). When they were together, my sister was only in Form 1. My sister surely does attract more guys than I do.

The relationship didn’t work out. It was more like a puppy love. After the break up, I had to be counsellor and advisor to this ex-boyfriend of my sister. My sister was literary fine but he was a total wreck. He really did love my sister. He gradually survived and he calls me “Kakak Cantik”. I’ve not seen him for ages too.

2. A sales attendant of a skin care product store. We were just browsing because I loved the colours of the products. She approached us, explained every range of product that was in the shop as we made our way around. And while she was explaining, I can feel a coat of cloud surrounding me. I don’t know how to describe this feeling but I do get it when someone strokes me gently on the head for a long time. Or when my mum would comb and tie my hair when I was little, you get this very very calm and soothing feeling and you just stand or sit still because once you move, the feeling disappears. The feeling is so nice, you don’t want it go away and it puts you into some kind of a dreamy mode. Floating on air but you still know that you’re very much alive.

This sales attendant has got some kind of charm in her. She’s a very pleasant lady. I think she knows we are not going to buy anything from her but she still took the time to explain the products to us. With so much patience and sweetness. I thanked her with a smile as we made our way out of the shop. This is not just excellent customer service, but superb (with three exclamation marks behind) customer service.
I then asked Iris if she felt the same thing.

“I felt it too.”

I don’t know if the word “kebas” in Bahasa Melayu is the right word to describe it. Or “semut”. But if you know what I’m talking about then you’ll know la!

And so, the day ended with a bleeding wallet.

The Ants Like Me

Sometimes I feel that luck is not on my side.

Was in Port Dickson, got out of the car wanting to see the sun set, stood on the sand of a shady area for less than a minute.

Stinging sensation from below.

Looked down and to my horror, discovered red ants covering both my feet.

:((

Painful wei.

I didn’t want to look at the sunset anymore. I wanted to go home. So I bid the red sun good bye. It was beautiful though, the sun. It was red. But I didn’t take any pictures of it because all I really wanted was to go home.

It was itchy and painful at the same time. Then, it turned numb. Then, I had two elephant toes. Now that I’m awake, I have elephant foot.

Two weeks ago, also on a Saturday, a part of my toe nail got ripped off. Today, I got bitten by ants. I mean, it’s always about my foot!

And before the ant bite thing, My favourite white slippers is broken when I was paying my bills. Strap broken. Me sad.

And it’s about my foot again!

I Quit

…again!

Saying goodbye hasn’t always been easy for me. But it wasn’t particularly difficult this time because I’ve only been here for almost 3 weeks, less than a month.

Today, I wrote an email to tender my resignation. Would love to do it face to face but he was not around.

He called me and my last day’s tomorrow.

I didn’t have to inform the rest because somehow someone knew and then everyone knew. A few were shocked because I didn’t told them anything. And I didn’t expect them to know it this way. I thought once I get a reply from him, I’d tell the rest but then it happened in another way.

They asked me why I wanted to quit. And I had to answer them with a few of them around. So, I just told them I didn’t find the job suitable for me. I said I don’t think I did a good job and won’t be able to do my best in doing this.

“I also don’t think this job suits you. Cannot imagine you doing this.” A colleague commented.

“But I think you’re doing fine! You learn things fast. At least you do. We’ve had people who knows how to do it but refuses to do it.” One of my colleague said.

I told her my heart’s not here.

And I always like it if I can do my best. It doesn’t matter if doing my best does not appear best to others. So long I know I’ve done my best, it satisfies me. And at the end of the day, what matters most to me is job satisfaction. That is a lovely little feeling that is capable of keeping me alive.

Hopefully, it’s not too far away.

Got or Not?

Last night, I wrote 5 entries. None I published. *Imagine a fashion designer/writer/artist, creating her masterpiece but is not satisfied with it and tears apart her drawing block and throws shattered pieces of paper in the air.*

I didn’t like what I wrote because it’s about the same old sad stories. I don’t want my life to be like that.

I can be a very simple person. Like an ice cream will make my day if you know what flavours I like. And it’s not hard to know what my favourite flavour is. Chocolate, my friend. The mighty chocolate.

But over the weeks, I find nothing in particular to write about. Can’t even find a simple thing to be happy about because everything seemed to irritate me.

This morning I lied on the bed till 12 noon or slightly beyond that just thinking. Usually, I will not have problems sleeping but when I stay up like that when I’m supposed to be asleep or when I’m supposed to be awake, something is troubling me. *Imagine a fashion designer/writer/artist, trying to get some inspiration in creating her masterpiece, digging deep into her deepest soul.*

I thought and I thought and I think I have the answer. I trust my inner voice. This inner voice has been telling me things right from the beginning and I always turn it down. Today, the voice seemed louder. So loud, I cannot pretend I didn’t hear it and this time I wouldn’t turn it down.

This time I didn’t consult my senior advisor for advice. I mean my dad. I just told him what I’m going to do and he asked why. I told him about the instincts thing. He went, “Ahh! Instincts! Okay!”

You know why I love him so much? Because he supports in everything that I do.

My mum is equally worried about me like dad but she worries more. Well, maybe worrying is not the word. She likes to imagine.

Like how she would ask me, “Eh, got or not?”

She’s not talking about if I’ve got a new job. But if I have found someone.

Got or not?

Don’t have.

And then, she’ll tell me. If you have a baby, I’ll take care of him/her when you go to work. Problem is I don’t have a baby.

I’ll tell you more tomorrow. About that something, triggered by the something called instincts.