My Crowning Glory

Say goodbye to helmet hair. (A friend of mine actually described my hair like I’m wearing a helmet on it. Thick and bushy.)

Say goodbye to flying hair. (It flies so high, it can be a hook.)

Say hi to straight and silky. A bit flat for now as always after rebonding. When it gets not too straight, it’ll be perfect.

Mummy didn’t like it though. I think she despises straight hair. I have no idea. She commented that my hair looks like shit. Hurt a bit but I’m getting immuned already. I sometimes get remark that sounds like that from her for certain things. She cares but she cares in a very hard kind of way sometimes. So..sometimes it’s painful to the ear but it comes with good intention. Always have to remind myself about that so that I don’t get put down easily.

Shit or not, my hair is more manageable now. I don’t have to painfully blow dry my hair after every wash with extra care and detail. It has come to a point where even when I blow dry my hair, it appears messy too. The hair looks different in the morning when I wash it last night and when I wash it during the day and it appears different again the next day. It is unpredictable and I have more bad hair days than good hair days lately.

Hair is a woman’s crowning glory so of course I got to make it look good. It reflects me as a whole and I feel very much better now. Head is lighter. Hair is neater.

Jingle Bell Rock

Today is a day that I should be grateful that I still have a job. Even though somehow I have a feeling that I will be someplace somewhere doing something closer to heart.

After not keeping abreast with the news lately, no time to read newspaper, dare not surf news during working hours and will only spend remaining time left before bedtime to blog, I was flipping through the papers today and all I see is year-end sale, warehouse sale and more sale. So..if I ever splurge this time, it will be the papers’ fault! 😛

SMSed the-guy-who-used-to-love-me-and-then-decided-to-disappear-into-thin-air for some non-personal stuff matter but received no reply. For the first time in my life, I believe someone really hates me. But the good news is that I think I’m handling rejection better now, or maybe the correct term to be used here is non-responsiveness.

I’m going to rock the world tomorrow. The world will rock with me day after tomorrow and before you know it, December is here and I’ll tell Santa I’ve been a good girl and I deserve some guy. He will always get his Christmas present everyday because that gift would be me.

I used to hate people who would always talk about how lonely they are or how meaningless life is without someone to love or how desperate someone can get and always wanting to have someone by their side because I think without it, you can still survive and life will still go on. But look at me now, I think I’m becoming a mat nenek, everytime I’ll always come back writing about the same stuff. Single. Needs boyfriend. Emotional. Needs boyfriend. Floating through life. Needs boyfriend. Christmas. Needs boyfriend.

But I think la hor, when I really have someone approaching me, I might just cringe at the thought of it.

Tip of Borneo

23 November 2008 (Sunday)

Pappy, Mummy and I went for a day trip to Tip of Borneo (Tanjung Simpang Mengayau), the northernmost tip of Borne?, Kudat. (If you could just see the pink circle on the picture above. click to zoom) We travelled about 3 hours from Kota Kinabalu, passing by small towns and kampungs and you get to see padi fields along the way, greens and more greens. There were a few places that you could stop by along the way which included Kampung Gombizau Honey Bee Farm (we stopped by but they were already out of honey for sale) and the Rungus longhouse. Rungus is an ethnic group of Borneo, sub-group of the Kadazan-Duzun tribe. You see…I don’t know all this. Have never heard about Rungus until now.

There are just so many places to discover and explore in Sabah. What I like about this trip is that I get to travel on bumpy roads. The road quality has indeed improved, not like the olden days where it’s just rock all the way. It’s bumpy on some part, otherwise, it’s not too bad a journey. Bumpy roads remind me of my childhood where I used to  follow Pappy on his jeep and we’ll go into the oil palm estates.

This is the Tip of Borneo, which is the meeting point of Sulu Sea and South China Sea. The beach is very clean. The waters are clear. There is no facilities or resorts whatsoever that allows you to swim and picnic here and I prefer it to be that way. Untouched. This place should remain untouched. It feels great to be able to travel up north and say you are at the tip of Borneo!

We then had lunch at Kudat town. This is a very very small place. Quiet. The restaurant that we went to was Sungai Wang Restaurant, probably the few Chinese restaurants left in Kudat. Then, we stopped by Kudat Golf & Marina Resort before heading back to Kota Kinabalu. Stopped by near Kota Marudu (if I’m not mistaken) to get some jagung pulut and honey.

The final destination that we went before calling it a day was Nexus Resort, Karambunai. No luck with sunset as the sky was dark and gloomy. Else, it would have been perfect.

KL-KK

I’m back to KL from Kota Kinabalu.

Received an SMS from Pappy while I was having dinner, telling me he’s listening to music at the hotel lounge alone. Somehow this stung my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes just like that. Maybe Pappy is not lonely but enjoying his private time by himself…but I can’t help to feel that he’s lonely..after what has happened the night before.

The main reason why I flew to KK was because I wanted to spend time with my parents and at the same time celebrate their wedding anniversary with them. I expected a simple and quiet dinner..just the 3 of us. Mummy expected the same too but it turned out to be bigger than just the 3 of us and with that, Mummy got very mad and the cold war thing started and I must say I’m very stressed out.

I wasn’t happy seeing the both of them not happy. I couldn’t be on either side even though I seemed and appear to be swaying to Mum’s side more but there is a reason to it because Mummy needs someone to tell or remind her ot pacify her about why Pappy is doing this. Really..it’s not that bad. It’s just two people having different views…and I was just trying to narrow that gap. I don’t know if Pappy was okay. He looked composed and even if he’s downright sad, you wont be able to trace it from his face. Maybe he’s strong but I can’t help but to feel he’s bleeding inside. So much so that after the dinner, I went up to him, hold and hug him then give him a kiss. So many things I wanted to tell him, about how great the dinner was, how romantic of him to ask the band to sing, the karaoke and the cake…and most of all, the thought of celebrating their love and wanting friends of his to witness it. Mummy didn’t want all that.

So you see….very susah isn’t it?

I felt like crap and I’m still feeling very sad and pitiful for Pappy that after I came back to KL, I was still feeling very much that way until the SMS from Pappy came that triggered me further to write an email to Pappy to tell him how I feel and give him a whole picture of the whole thing that just happened. I just wanted him to know his efforts are very much appreciated and that Mummy may not seem like she’s happy but I know deep down inside or maybe few days or years to come, she’ll remember this night.

One of the reason why I think my dad is the greatest is because he places special occasions like this in a very important place in his heart. And even when he knows mum might not approve of having it big, he still wants to do it. I tell you, both of them are so stubborn that I feel like shouting to both of them to listen to me.

I may not have enjoyed my trip to KK entirely. There were some good times minus the cold war between my parents that i got stuck in. Good food. No picturesque sunset though..because it was gloomy all the days when i was in KK when evening comes.  Cloudy and rainy. Idiotic girl on the plane, being ignorant of switching off her mobile phone when in the air craft. You know how I hate this kind of people. Instructions given, repeated so many times by the air stewardess on the PA and yet acts dumb and ignorant. I know she knows it’s not allowed because she was hiding and trying to text with her mobile phone. Really bloody idiot lor. Even when the plane was about to take off, she can still answer one call. I almost wanted to vomit blood. Until my mum told her off asking her if she knows mobile phones are not allowed to switch on in the plane. She stared at my mum and said, “I KNOW” like my mum owe her 1 million bucks. Bloody hell!

Back to story..

But I’ve come to learnt that no matter how sunny a relationship/marriage is, there will always be rainy days, if not thunderstorm! Marriage is harder to maintain because you are not allowed to give up easily. Sometimes I’ll wonder how Pappy put up with Mummy and how Mummy puts up with Pappy. Even though the dinner was kind of a disaster ..not physically but rather emotionally, I know things will move on and tomorrow will be another day. Mummy will stop getting mad over Pappy…even though I know the next time she gets mad over him will come again very soon..she gets mad over the same few things about Pappy…which isn’t going to change no matter how many times she’ll get angry about it. And even when Pappy knows she’s not happy about that, he’ll continue to do the same. Maybe rectify some things here and there but his personality will always be his personality. Some things can be changed..some things cannot. It’s like it’s in your roots.

This is a detox entry of mine. Cried before writing this because I was already crying when I was composing an email to Pappy, followed by this and I’m so tired now. Need to go to work tomorrow, probably to save someone’s day.

Mummy flew back with me so aku dah stress dah. She is acting like a volcano lately, when pushed the wrong button, will explode. me hav to be veli carefool.

Away

It’s either my friends are busy.

Or what I’m writing is crap and it has bored my readers to death.

I only have 9 visitors today.

I’ll be away for 5 days so the number of visitors are definitely going to drop further.

I’ll deal with it when I get back. Some drastic action is needed to capture your hearts again.

Till then, have a wonderful weekend!