Friends Come and Go

Spent the weekend with a girlfriend. I am just glad that I have a friend like her. It is comforting to know that I’ve got other friends to count on…when I know I’ve lost one. I’ve never experienced treating a friend like a true friend, to do no harm or have any ill attention but somehow in the end, someone you call a friend can just choose to break a friendship like that.

When a guy does this to me when a relationship has turned sour, I can fully comprehend because I know love can turn into hatred. But never in my mind would I think friendship can end up that way too. It feels weird and I don’t quite know how to describe the feeling. It’s all jumbled up and I’m trying to keep myself calm and collected. Tonight I just want to write it out and hopefully I’ll let this chapter pass. It’s not the kind of things I’d like to go through but I’ll take it as an experience…that sometimes this world can be a little cruel. I don’t want to hang on to this for too long even though everyday I’m reminded of this. I’ve been affected by this for too long. I need to see beyond this and learn how to go through this.

I’m the kind that don’t normally feel comfortable to bare it all to just anyone. So when I see the connection and I trust my own instincts that I can trust and count on a person, you will see a different side of me. I may appear cold or cool when you don’t know me…but I can jump around like a clown if I want to let you see that side of me. I don’t have to do that on purpose…I’d be like that when I’m with friends that I’m comfortable with. And to learn that I’d have to do things differently to a person to protect my heart and to stop being victimised and taken advantage of, I feel sad.

It’s a bit like learning my first love didn’t last. You have this very pure, very innocent, very ideal thought that you want your first love to be the first and to be the last …but one day it comes tumbling down and then reality sets in and hits you…you know you have to get real. What you think you want it to be..just doesn’t always materialise. And people change..they do.

Sometimes I do wonder if all these heartbreaks are turning me nuts.

Gracie, look at the bright side.

How?

Tomorrow when the sun shines  and lits up your room, look towards it.

Put on that peach colour shirt tomorrow and rock the world. Just remember that you can still be an awesome friend and don’t lose hope.

I’m Glad the Holidays are OVER!

I wasn’t feeling particularly good, especially when I’m reminded that I’ll be back to the grind at work on a public holiday. There’s just something about working on holidays that makes me feel so restless. I’m glad it’s over now. Tomorrow is going to be a working day for all. I’m gonna dress up and look good tomorrow. Maybe accessorise it with a hairband. I’m a bit obsessed with hairbands lately.

There’s still one thing that bothers me and each time I want to just move on and forget about it, somebody would come along and ask me about it. I’ll then have to act like I’m okay with it, like it’s nothing… but honestly I just wished people stop asking me. I just hope that answering them would clear the air and I really want to put this behind. I’m tired of the gossips and rumours. Whatever it is, I know this too shall pass. I like these words….this too shall past.

Felt so much better after talking to a friend who has a Donald Duck voice. He was right to say that when someone puts you down, it’s the more you need to live happily, show them you are having a good life. I’m going to do just that.

Shorty Shorty Hair

I’ve always had long hair and never in my life would I think I’d grow to love short hair.

Cut it short last year because I wanted some change…and then I thought it’s time I grow it back again. While I’m half way there, I decided to chop it off again yesterday. This time also because I wanted some change and in a way, it’s a form of rebel and a message I would like to send out to the world, “Don’t mess with Gracie!”

My hairdresser asked me numerous times if I was sure I wanted it to be short. I said yes. She asked if I’m sure I will not regret. I said I’m very sure. She said she was feeling rather sad cutting my hair away.

But I’m feeling happy with the haircut. It’s definitely easier to manage and my head is so light. I don’t have to worry how my hair turns out the next morning because it will look the way it is. I have thick hair so having long hair is a chore, having washed and then to blow dry a thick set of hair is painful.

A bit sad to think that I’ll be working tomorrow and the say after when most people will be enjoying their long weekend. I don’t want to feel sad when I work tomorrow. I know I’m not alone…because I know even some Malays have to work during this big festival of theirs…so..I should make the best of tomorrow and the entire week till I get my days off next week. I can’t wait! 🙂

In Point Form

1. I discovered a shocking and ugly truth. I am still recovering from it because never in a million years I would have thought this could happen….that a friend you take heart to decides to turn his/her back on you. But it’s okay. At least it has opened up my eyes and it’s time that I wake up and it’s time I stop being nice to such people.
2. I just killed a cockroach a few minutes ago. It is huge and my kitchen smells of aerosol spray now.
3. There’s a new little enthusiastic lizard in my house now and it is quite adventurous too. It appears in the kitchen and now in the living room.
4. I just made it looked like my house is a pest farm.
5. I have been very frustrated with my mid-length hair. I am going to chop it off tomorrow.
6. I thank God for showing me a true friend when I just lost one.
7. It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be. Saw this quote written on a sticker at the MPH bookstore cashier.
8. I am working on Hari Raya for the first time in my entire life. I have worked on Deepavali and New Year’s Day so this is new and it’s going to be memorable.
9. Everyone was looking happy and excited about the long holiday but to me, I wasn’t feeling any Raya mood because I told myself not to. I will have my days off soon. Singapore and Hong Kong, I AM COMING!!!
10. I was bored after work and spending time in the bookstore wasn’t enticing to me today. So I thought let’s go get bras. What I like about the bra shop I went to was that the lady would measure you to see if you got the right cup size and asked if you would like her to help check if it fits you perfectly. Then, teaches you how to wear a bra. Trust me, I have not known how to wear a bra correctly. She even touched on the breasts to show me how. -_- But I have learned now.
11. I am going to throw a few bad bras away tomorrow. Not because my breasts have grown tremendously but because it was never the right size to begin with and it’s time that I stop torturing myself with suffocating bras.
12. I have been adding celery as my main ingredient in juicing lately. I’ve never liked celery because of its smell. But after knowing how good celery is…I took the challenge to drink it. And you know what? It’s not too bad and I’m getting used to the taste and smell now.
13. I would like to try boiling porridge with barley and green beans. Saw this recipe from a magazine today. Barley + green bean + sweet potato….sounds good too.
14. Tomorrow is a good day to de-clutter because I can’t afford to sit down and do nothing.
15. It’s 1:19am. BED TIME.

The Trishaw Man

The last time I sat on a trishaw was more than 10 years ago. When I was at Melaka on Sunday for a day trip, my friend and I got on a trishaw and had an enjoyable time. Short but sweet! The uncle who rode the trishaw was so cool and awesome. When we got on his trishaw, he immediately played the song “路边的野花不要採”. He blasted it so loudly on his player that we were creating a scene as he drove us around. There were people/tourists looking at us. Then, there was a guy who actually took picture of us on the trishaw.  -_-|||

So I looked at my friend and said, “OH MY GOD”.

Then, another car who caught sight of us honked too. ahaha.

Uncle drove us and pointed to the important buildings and explained it to us in Mandarin with one word, “Museum, buffalo cart, pirate ship, swimming pool and etc.”

I especially loved when he asked, “你们要不要去toilet?"

He also helped us to capture some photos. People very creative one ok…know how to ask you to pose. He also posed for me when I took this picture of him. So cute!

Walked around Jonker Street and we saw him again after that. This time he played some Chinese kids song because his passenger was a mother and a kid. He certainly knows how to please his passengers.

送你送到小村外
有句话儿要交代
虽然已经是百花开
路边的野花你不要采
记着我的情
记着我的爱
记着有我天天在等待
我在等着你回来
千万不要把我来忘怀