I’m not feeling really well. Tummy is painful, with wind and gas swirling around it. Feeling cold too..not sure if the fever is coming. Don’t think if this has got to do with the extraction…just maybe lack of sleep and a lot of thinking and doing very new things that shakes me out of my comfort zone lately. It’s exciting and scary at the same time.
While I was working on something today, I realised what I’ve learnt before this was put into use, in a way I’ve never thought it could be. I didn’t know what good it was to learn it anyway but I had to because I work for others thus I do not always have the privilege to choose what I like or don’t like to do. I could feel a smile drawing on my face and then I just thought what I’m going to do and learn to do from these coming weeks onwards is going to be for a reason. I do not know what good it would bring me and the results may not be immediate….but I’m sure even the slightest lesson you learn everyday is something you’ll own and no one can ever take it away from you. The good thing is that….you can always pass it on and teach others.
Actually, I like teaching…if I teach someone who really wants to learn.
I just have a feeling that I won’t be doing this corporate thingy for the rest of my life. I would someday like to be in business. I really don’t want to be clocking in and out everyday, abiding by the red tapes. It may be harder being in business but at least I know I have something of my own. It’s going to take time but my mind is set to go towards that direction. I really want to do it.
I went for my usual monthly visit to the dentist today with no feeling or expectation. The dentist told me to have a tooth extracted to end the misery of my braces episode. I’ve been enduring with the existence of this tooth for a very long time. It’s a very lengthy story and I don’t want to bore you with the details. In short, it currently disrupts the marginal alignment and with it taken out now, I can really see the difference in an instance.
As the dentist told me to have it extracted and he asked if I wanted it to do it today…I ask him if it would take long since it was a big tooth and I thought it wasn’t the normal extraction that would get this big tooth out. Mr.Dentist was so confident, he said it would only take a short while. I was given two shots and it started to get numb. While I was sitting on the chair, I was thinking if I’m not out of my mind. I have never agreed to extract a tooth immediately. Usually I would tell the dentist that I’ll get it extracted during my next visit or on another day because I’ll be thinking of all the horrible things, how to eat, what if I bleed non-stop and all imaginable things I can think of. And, I also needed time to collect courage.
But today, I think I’m drunk or I don’t know…suddenly brave? Hahahah. I agreed to have it taken out because it needs to be done sooner or later anyway and I don’t want to keep thinking about it for the coming days before my next appointment. I’m still biting on that cotton ball as I’m typing this. So far I don’t have any painful feeling yet. Extraction was painless, except you could feel the 2 tingling shots before that but it’s really nothing. Just someone pinching you very hard in a very small way.
I don’t know what’s going on but tonight the Internet is down again. So I called Streamyx again and once again, they performed miracle. I really hope I won’t need to call them again for the same problem tomorrow.
Internet was down when I came home and so I got a bit depressed since I cannot live without the Internet.
I was thinking of trying tomorrow to see if it works….but after 2 hours I decided to pick up the phone and call for help. The best thing is it was fixed around 5 minutes. WOW! This is the fastest response I ever get from Streamyx. The guy helped to “refresh” my line, whatever that means. Impressed.
I was expecting them to ask me go through the can- you-connect-manually stuff and all the crap but I’m glad I didn’t have to. All I did was turn off the modem and turn it on again and VOILA!
Hari ini aku stress.
Lepas meeting tu, hatiku layang entah ke mana.
Don’t know if it’s good or bad news. I’m trying to think of the good but the bad part keeps creeping in because I’m thinking of the worst scenario that can ever happen. It is really about doing something that scares me and it’s going to be for a while. Maybe it would get easier but for now I don’t know how easy or hard it would get so I don’t really know…for all I know because I don’t know ..that’s why I’m worried and scared. But I also know worrying about it now doesn’t help make it any easier but I just can’t help it. *im starting to talk crap*
I need some courage and confidence. I think I can do it if I set my heart to…but because it comes in too suddenly, I don’t know what to feel or think.
Gracie, Â it’s time to grow. You’ve been idling for too long and your brains are starting to rot, not because you want to but the situation you are in makes you such. Now..maybe it’s the time to polish up and maybe who knows….you may be good at this. Give it a try. I’m sure even if you can’t do well, you won’t die. If the people you saw on the Oprah show today can make it even in such a hopeless circumstances, why do you think you can’t?