Relieved

I’m feeling so relieved today, after worrying for the past few days. The moment I got home after dinner, I immediately dived onto my sofa and watch “Three Brothers”, another Korean series…and coincidentally it was the last 2 episodes I was watching. The story ended with a happy ending.

Today is not just a normal day at work. I managed to get out of my shell a little but I reckon I can do more than that. I’m very self-conscious and I’m very in need of others approval so there are times, I mind my words and actions too much. While others are confident to be themselves, I still remain in the invisible shell I build for myself. No one sees the shell but me.

It is not something that happened overnight. It’s something I’ve been trying to overcome throughout the years. I don’t know if it’s my nature or it’s going to be like that forever. Maybe I”ll come out of that shell and I want to but I don’t know how long it’s gonna take.

There is nothing scary about talking to people you don’t know. But for me, I’m so afraid at talking to new people that I get so stressed up and my mind goes blank and then I’m tongue-tied and I don’t know what to say…which results in me feeling worse and then I stressed myself out, wondering why it’s easy for others to articulate their views.

I write better than I speak. Words just seemed to flow effortlessly when I write…but it’s different when I speak. Something I need to work on. I know I can do it, I am just not confident enough and I care too much about how people will judge me.

I’ve got another car to drive now so Iris is driving to work herself and I drive to work on my own. It frees up a lot of time and I should be able to slot in some cooking time from tomorrow onwards.

My body and well-being has deteriorated from eating outside too much. It’s time I balance it with some home-cooked food. I’m a bit rusty now that I’ve not cooked for a while but I should really get started. I would like to cook nutritious meals for Iris as well so that she can focus better at work!

I’m thankful that I was able to remain calm and collected today.

Hoping tomorrow will be as good as today, if not, BETTER! 🙂

Braindead

I am not feeling very comfortable with the thought of  that a new week starts tomorrrow. It’s nearer to the day/thing I dread. I know once it’s over, I will be very relieved but till then I will feel a lump in the throat, my mind not thinking right and worrying about things that I don’t know what to worry about. It’s scary.

I’m supposed to be doing research now but I’m going nowhere because I’m not sure how to even begin in the first place. Uncertainty…I don’t like this. I’m going to go rest now, do something to take my mind off this since worrying about it doesn’t help me but making me feeling worse. I will do my final preparation tomorrow and whatever will be, will be.

God, please give me the strength and courage to go through this. I will try my best.

You’ve Got A Friend in Me

I’ve been watching movies every week for the past few weeks. Prince of Persia, The Karate Kid, Knight and Day and today I watched Toy Story 3.

I liked the bear but it turned out to be character I didn’t expect him to be since he’s huggable and smells like strawberries!

I absolutely adore the “Peas-in-a-pod”. So cute.

Rex, the tyrannosaurus, is also one of my favourite. Always in panic mode.

Buzz, very funny!!

I like the Spanish rendition of “You’re Got a Friend in Me” – (Hay Un Amigo En Mi) by the Gypsy Kings.

Bonnie, the little girl you would adore, just so cute with her toys and imaginary “toy stories”.

I like how the toys appear fake but at the same time, they appear very much alive.

The ending is the bomb. Touching.

When Andy had to part with his favourite toys, I thought about me and Ducky. Ducky has been with me for a freaking 10 years. I still like her all the same and will still like her all the same. To infinity and beyond!

Eating Machine

It is an extraordinary day for me because I cannot stop eating. Hunger pangs throughout the day. Had lunch at 12 and by the time it was 2:30pm, my stomach was whispering to me, it’s turning empty. I was trying to hold on to it but decided I couldn’t wait any longer so I had tea at about 3. Iris felt like having Korean noodles for dinner so a friend suggested a place and so I went.

I had a very yummy and satisfying Korean meal. Will definitely go back again! It’s Twins Korean Restaurant, Solaris Mont Kiara. Jalan Solaris 4 to be exact, next to Killiney Kopitiam. Pricing was alright for Korean food…reasonable. You can get a meal for RM15.  What I liked about it is there was no tax or whatsoever. What you see in the menu is what you pay. They serve you a bottle of ice water without asking for it. 7 little plates of side dishes, you would get side dishes if you frequent a Korean eatery. These are also re-filled by the waiter without even asking. And while we were finishing our main meal, the waiter gave us another side dish, different from the 7 that we already got. It’s kerang (shellfish, clam, I don’t know what’s it in English). I thought it would be smelly and all, stinky, just like a kerang would taste like…but surprisingly, it doesn’t stink and it was just so nice.

The fun doesn’t stop there. We were given dessert too. It’s a sweet kind of drink…it’s either rice or barley..but I liked that too. The bill came and it was just RM15 for one meal each.

Happy like shit.

It’s 12:03am…and I’m… you know….a little bit hungry. Time for some oatmilk!