Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

It’s 2.56am, as good as 3 in the morning. I have this heavy feeling of wanting to do get a few things done and feeling like time is so little. That’s what keeping me awake suddenly, on top of the mosquito bites I’m getting.

I’ve been sleeping without air-condition for about 2 weeks now. It’s noisier with the window open. Stupid cars with loud engines would zoom by sometimes.

I’m back to turning it on just awhile ago because I’m stressed. I don’t like this feeling. It’s like there’s an auto reminder machine growing in my head. It’s bedtime, I can’t do any of the things I want to do and it can wait till morning but the heart longs to do it because I’m not sure how I’m going to cope.

Dear God, please give me strength and courage to get through August and September. Im feeling rather overwhelmed even though they are not here yet. Thanks for an exciting July, so many things happened this month, compared to the months compiled in one. Not all are good but I’m sure there’s a reason to all things that have happened.

Now please sprinkle some sleepy dust on me so that I can proceed with my sleep.

The Rice Cooker

I came home and it was past the scheduled cooking time. I was torn between staying back at work to complete more work and coming home to cook.

And so I stayed back for another half an hour and came home preparing and cooking like a crazy lady.

I was very sure the rice cooker was cooking my rice because that was the first thing I did. So when I was done with the soup and veggie, feeling happy it’s done and I can get to eat now, the rice cooker was detected without a pulse. My heart dropped for a second.

It’s the electric cable connecting the rice cooker that was loose which was why the rice cooker failed me.

I went to the bedroom and lied down on the yoga mat, letting the fact sink in.

I had an appointment at 9 and it was 8.30 then. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry but I was sure I wasn’t going to have dinner, my own dinner.

I went to meet someone and had roti canai at the mamak, still feeling sad but trying to hide the story with a normal face.

The only comforting part is dinner is ready for Iris since she was back around 9. She left me some soup and veggie but by the time I came home, I was already full, not with roti canai but with lots of mixed feelings.

Why did I have to cook? Because of those prawns again. I cannot freeze them again after defreezing. And for some reason, they don’t taste great. And the soup, it took me a day to figure out why it felt like something is missing. I forgot to add the bloody salt.

I shall end this post with 3 bad words.
#*$

Prawny Prawny Night

I should be sleeping but I’m awake typing this while I wait for my Tupperware-full of prawns to defroze a little so that I could take some of them and store them in a smaller Tupperware for tomorrow’s cooking session.

It’s going to be Vegetables and Prawn Stir Fried + Carrot and Corn Soup tomorrow.

I’m very tempted to try my hands on Japanese Potato Salad this weekend.

*Short pause*

Okay, I just got back getting some of the prawns out. My fingers are frozen now and I killed a few prawns in the process, some with heads off, some with tails off because I forced them apart from the group of frozen prawns. I cannot wait anymore, I need to sleep. Hah!

They are still prawns anyway so…I guess it’s okay.

I Cook. I Stretch.

I’m happy with my cooking progress and sticking to my daily crunches and stretching exercises. My daily routine now is to think of what to cook tomorrow and make sure I have the ingredients available when I come home from work. The daily challenge I’m setting for myself is to cook a variety of food. For example, if I had to cook eggs two days in a row. One day has got to be steamed egg, the other fried. I must have vegetables so it’s either stir fried or made with soup. And if time doesn’t permit, it will be a combo. Vegetables with meat in a dish. I don’t mind one-dish meal if I were to eat alone but because my sister is eating too, so I usually try to come out with a minimum of 2. On weekends when I have more time, I can have three, which includes a soup. I can only have porridge when I’m eating alone, because again my sister doesn’t like porridge. She doesn’t fancy soup that much as well but so far she has been drinking whatever soup I boil, not as much as me though but it’s fine.

I have never deep-fried in my life because I have a phobia with “jumping oil” and simply because I don’t know how to deep-fry. I don’t know when I’ll get to that part to learn how to deep fry. I think it’s easy, but I don’t really fancy fried food. kononnya sangat healthy.

One of my favourite food…tofu, which I think I’ll have it tomorrow. Cheap and nutritious.

Alright….time to go stretchy stretchy. 🙂

Ditched. Kimchi.

I’m a very angry lady today. I was ditched by a friend.

I was out today to meet a friend, who needed a listening ear and I went intend to be all ears. In the end, it ended up me leaving (I didn’t had any choice) because she wanted to meet a guy. It made me feel like a time-filler, a back-up plan, disposable at anytime, not really a friend.  I won’t treat my friend that way. I mean if I’ve dated my friends, I will go out with my friends. And not going out with friends but heart is with another person. I’d rather you not going out with me then. Walking alone would have been much soothing for me than to know you need me when you think you need me and I can be disposed of when you don’t need me.

I walked to the car park. Face black and all. Held on the steering wheel very hard too. Drove with a black face and stubborn hands to the saloon to get my haircut.

When I came home after the haircut, I charged to the kitchen and whipped out a meal. No time to think. Just want to cook. Washed the unwashed rice cooker harder than I usually would. Still angry ma. Just want to cook. Still disappointed. I bought kimchi from Jusco because the lady was giving out food sample and when I tasted the kimchi soup, I immediately fell in love. Had to get one. Then, I was compiling my mind for list of food available in the fridge so I just decided to cook kimchi soup with tofu and beef.

I didn’t know how much kimchi I should put, not sure if water is too much but I wanted more soup hence I measured two big bowls. It didn’t taste right so I added a little bit of miso paste (while cooking and googling with my iPhone for this miso tip), added tofu. Marinated beef at a very last minute because I was thinking the kimchi would give flavour to the beef but then Iris suggested I should marinate so ok lah, I marinated it. Not sure if the beef would smell too beef-ish (I think there’s no such word, so pardon me) so I added ginger at a very last minute.

Let it boil some more. Tasted the soup. Very nice wor.

The only fail part is I cooked the beef for too long, a bit tough but it was still okay lah, edible.

Only after I finished dinner did I feel better.

Mega sale has started but my heart is not really with the clothing stores now. I like to do groceries now and enjoying every moment of it. I’ve been doing groceries 2 days already. I like to go to the vegetables section and my mind will start wondering what I should get, what I should cook. I’ve seen ladies buying vegetables and there were a few men too. They looked like they were more experienced than me in getting the good stuff. I am very impressed.

Tomorrow I have this desire to go to pasar pagi to get pork and chicken to make soup. This is so not me. I would always go with my mum and she’ll pick those stuff and I’ll carry for her. So I’ve not really picked chicken or pork at a pasar pagi on my own and I’m not sure how to pick a chicken that is good because they look all chicken to me. But my mum would know which to choose from. So I guess experience matters in this case. I shall learn.

I’m getting domestically-inclined. My mum would be proud because she has been nagging me for ages to learn how to cook.

Cooking must be from the heart, it cannot be forced.