A depression bug may have just bitten me because my mood is getting any better. Sometimes I’m feeling a little okay than the day before but before I know it, it’s back to the low again the next day. My overall status = UNSTABLE.
I can be easily annoyed at even the slightest things these days. It scares me.
Getting up today was definitely a chore. This is something that I dread a lot because it means something is really wrong. I knew it was time to wake up but I kept snoozing and kept making myself sleep while thinking if I should wake up and get to work as usual. I was thinking of the possible reasons that I could give. Calling in sick? But not really that sick, just heart sick and emotionally unfit. Then, I thought about the meeting I have to attend, how it would look bad on me…I’ll just say, there wasn’t any solid and valid and good reason I should escape the world and reality today.
It took me a long time to just lie on the bed and did some self-talking. Finally, I got up and told myself..I can’t be like that. So I trudged myself to the bathroom, carefully brushed my teeth, looked myself in the mirror and realised I’ve grown thinner. (Another sign I might be really depressed.) I walked out of the door and positioned myself behind the wheels. Those tears were forming while I drove on but I suck it back.
I hope I’ll have the strength to wake up with much gusto tomorrow!
I received a belated birthday gift today. 3 boxes of condoms. Like as though I have a penis nor do I own one. What has the world become?