I’m upset today. Maybe because I expected better.

I’m upset because I do my best everyday but that itself is not enough to some people.

I’m demotivated because it makes me feel that doing my best and doing so-so gets me to the same place too.

I’m still going to do my best like I do everyday but I don’t know how the future will unfold for me. Is it worth the effort?

I don’t know how to write this but I really feel like crap now.

The moment I reached home after work, I downed a piece of bread because I was too hungry and then put a round of laundry to wash. Vacuumed. Hang the clothes. Mopped. Scrubbed the toilet floor and walls but I gave up half way because the scrub isn’t helping me to remove the grime. Hand already aching.

Changed bedsheets, put another round of laundry to wash, folded clothes and Iris is back to fetch me out for dinner.

“You smell like Pappy after tennis.”

“Sorry, was cleaning the house, no time to bathe.”

Came home, hang 2nd round of clothes, clean kitchen, bathe.

Continue with hiding my stuff and documents. Now I’m lying on the bed with a smile. At least I know mummy will come home to a clean house tomorrow.

I was very pleased with my cooking progress last week. I cooked 4 out of the 5 weekdays. Tried new recipes. Yes, it amazes me too. This week…I kinda gotten lazy because I’ve got too much things on my mind to actually have the time to think and plan of what to cook.

Been sick the past two days too.

I’m back into my worried and panic mode again. Mummy’s coming soon and knowing her, I got to make sure the house is in tip-top condition when she arrives. Come to think of it, I only have tomorrow night. HAHA!!! I think I can do with vacuum, mop, quick toilet clean, quick hiding things behind cupboards. I used to really hate cleaning because I just think cleaning the house takes a LONG time. I used to dislike cleaning because I think cleaning kills my brain cells. Now that I’ve done it almost every week, the most once fortnightly, it is becoming a routine and I’m getting faster at doing it.

I’m excited that Mummy is coming but at the same time feel stressed.