The first important thing I want to tell you is I saw someone cute today.

The next important thing I want to tell you is that I had dinner with the ex.

Then I realised we are just friends and that’s how it’s going to be. Not that I only realised this today but the mind reinforced this statement to me again today. It’s a good thing.

Tell me do you look at a guy and see/imagine you being with him, married to him and then think about whether you can or cannot live with him? I do that a lot, when I see someone that interests me or when i see someone that disgusts me a lot. Or just someone with so kind a heart, you can’t help wondering how nice it is if you can be someone with such big heart. It doesn’t necessarily need to be imagine the whole him but just maybe one of his character and you picture that character into an imaginary, non-existent person. ( Am I talking Greek now? Sorry, but it’s hard to describe something so abstract and unless you like imagining like me then you’ll know what I’m talking about.)  Even when I’m attached, the mind will just slip away for a while and just imagine. I just want to know if I’m normal. Can you girls out there tell me if you do this too? Or if the guys do this too?

The last important thing I want to tell you - that someone cute is a guy.

Now I know I was feeling so drained yesterday. It’s that time of the month again. There’s this very funny symptom lately, something which I’ve not realised until a couple months back. I’ll get very tired for no reason. And I mean VERY TIRED. And I really mean FOR NO REASON. I can have ample sleep and yet feel like I’ve not slept for days. It happens the day before..like now. Or a few days before that time of the month.

Then, I’ll get this crave for chocolates, which explains why suddenly I was in the mood to have milo after dinner. I don’t usually do Milo after dinner but last night was exceptional. I’m going to have milo tonight too. Brain says no milo cannot work. Alright.

Mind was stuck when I left work yesterday but I started to detangle it when I sat down at my desk today. I don’t work well with a cluttered mind, it makes me panic and I cannot think straight. A simple task can be so complicated if I put myself into that mode. So I tried to dissect the work one by one and the number of things I learnt just looking at one simple feature is unbelievable. I’m learning the small small things, which means a lot to me.

I can’t wait for the last week of August because my sister is coming back. IRIS IS COMING BACK! Do you know how long I’ve waited? And do you know what it feels like to be able to touch your younger sister again? I’m so going to go shopping with her, makan with her, watch movies with her, sleep with her, talk nonsense with her. I must do lots of things with her because when she leaves this time to work overseas, I don’t know when I’ll get to meet her again.

For the first time in a very long time, I actually feel DRAINED while I was sitting on my desk today. Thank God that I only felt that way when it was time to go home. Stayed back for an hour or so to figure out something. My job is a lot about figuring out stuff, especially for someone new like me, I’ve more stuff to go figure. And because my mind was already stuck, I decided to just call it a day. I think I should be able to think better tomorrow.

And I’m really thankful because there are kind souls who are so ever willing to teach and guide me. But of course, you must ask! Well, it’s not going to be easy but I know I’ll learn a lot, at least in comparison with my previous job. I get paid more now so it actually means the work is more difficult too. But I believe I should be able to handle it but it may be tough for the first few months.

So long as I have lunch companions and supportive people around me, I think I can brave the storm.

And for the first time in my life, I KILLED a lizard. I hate killing lizards, more than killing cockroaches. Lizards are hard to kill. I didn’t want to kill it but because it was easier to kill, since it was a baby lizard, I had to. The problem with my kitchen is that there are more lizards. There is a frequent visitor and like I’ve written on my earlier entry, I can recognise it by just looking at its eyes. It was there yesterday lurking around the sink. Gave me a good fright and jump when I turn on the tap. It was dry and there was no food, no nothing. It came too.

The other new frequent visitor is a striped lizard. I hate striped lizards. Though they are just lizards, they are scarier to look at. This one is of the same size as frequent visitor #1. And if I ever find it lurking around the sink while I turn on the tap, I think I’d just faint in the kitchen.

Latest addition is a baby striped lizard which I just killed. I was looking at it and imagining it growing big and all. I cannot take two striped lizards in the kitchen so what I did was to try to kill it. How? Spraying dish washing liquid on it but it still looked strong then I proceeded with aerosol spray. It was still strong. Then I gave up and today I think it’s dead. It was so small, I couldn’t actually just catch it while it was wet with the dish washing liquid but I wasn’t brave enough. Told you I hate lizards in the kitchen, especially striped ones!!!

Anyway, my daily routine whenever I go into the kitchen is I will go peek at the sink to make sure it’s lizard-free. Or switch on the light and then make some noise to announce to lizards if they happen to be around and getting jiggy with it in the sink that I’M IN THE KITCHEN SO PERGI MAIN JAUH-JAUH. Or if lizard is stubborn and love my sink so much that it’s not leaving, I’ll talk to lizard, “FASTER LA, FASTER GO AWAY”.

Can someone tell me how I can get rid of lizards in the kitchen? I don’t care if they want to stick on the ceiling or on the wall. Just don’t interfere with me in my kitchen, especially the sink.

Mummy flew back home and naughty Gracie decided to come out and play!

She went to Sunway Pyramid to meet up with her ex-colleagues after work on Friday, who happened to be all Cancerians. Born 22 June - 22 July.  Decided to dine at Italiannies but it was full, went to TGIF but it was full as well, ended up at Shogun, which didn’t really impressed.

Continued our session at Cafe Flam. Felt like having beer but I ended up with orange juice since I’m going to be driving home. Went to check out the cinema even though we weren’t going to watch any movie. Went to the games arcade next to the cinema for a round of car racing. Went to the bowling alley to have a look. When we were done, it was already 1 something in the morning.

Reached home and had to report to Mummy that I’m home. Usually when she flies back, I could escape reporting to her that I’ve reached the office in the morning. This time around, she still wanted me to send her an SMS to tell her I’ve reached my office. I hope she’ll forget about asking me to SMS to her every morning starting next week onwards. I mean..you know what I mean.

***

Saturday.

Bought concert tickets at Mid Valley. Yeap, I’m going to a concert and it has been 2 years or more since I last went to a concert. I miss going to concerts. I’ve always love going to Bukit Jalil whenever there’s a concert and I really hate going to Stadium Merdeka. The cement seat hurts your butts to the core. Was there for Jay Chou’s concert many moons ago. Butt didn’t hurt that much considering the fact that Jay was entertaining enough and I love him enough to have a sore butt. Was there for Mariah Carey’s concert as well. This was a nightmare. Concert started late due to some late arrival of VIP. Just don’t understand why these VIPs cannot make it on time just for once. Isn’t Mariah the only VIP since she’s the one singing for the concert? Why must we wait for some so-called very important person before they let Mariah sing? This time…my butt really hurt very much and I kinda swear I’m not going to Stadium Merdeka anymore.

I don’t even wanna think about parking and taking the LRT especially after the concert has ended. You know sometimes they don’t extend the time and you will miss getting on the LRT. But for the love of the rock princess and that I have company that of my ex-colleagues, I’ll sacrifice my butt again and perhaps to the idea of missing to get on the last LRT back home.

Bought 2 books by Jodi Picoult when I was at The Borders, The Gardens. It was nice and quiet and lovely in the bookstore since it was still early. I initially planned to just get one book. My Sister’s Keeper. I read it while waiting for the rest to turn up for dinner and was suddenly hooked that I just had to get it else I’ll be forever thinking about it. But because there was a sale going on, I can get 20% off if I get 2 books…so I simply chose another book by Jodi Picoult and was damn happy with the price of the books.

Went to The Curve for lunch. Kenny Rogers. Walked around a little. Went to Pin Junction of Cineleisure where the others had a round of bowling and I sat there watching them play.

They went back and I was planning to go home when the band started to sing. It was nice and so I sat down and listened alone. They sang mostly oldies and I really really loved it.

Came home and only drank soup. I’ve over eaten during dinner last night at Shogun and lunch at Kenny Rogers.

***

Sunday

Made myself stay home. The only time I was out was when I went down to throw the rubbish and check on my car’s coolant level. I have to make myself stay home because I don’t want to spend anymore money this weekend.

1. I’ve got a lot to write but I’ve got no time since I have been waking up earlier than usual and sleeping earlier than usual as a result of that.
2. So let’s do the numbering entry. Ready, get set. Go!
3. Taking the LRT today was a disaster. I was lucky enough to get a parking at the station. That is actually one of my nightmares. I often wonder how early people drive to get a parking at the station. I have been getting there earlier as compared to yesterday but I think I have to be earlier than today because it’s just not early enough when you get to the station even though the clock shows it’s still early.
4. Okay, back to taking the LRT is a disaster today. There was technical error or something like that with the track system from Setiawangsa to Gombak which affected the whole track. When I queued up, it wasn’t so bad. Saw one train left but I managed to get on to the next. I was worried because they keep announcing that they will be delay and it will take up more than an hour before it is being rectified.
5. I feel for those commuters who are getting on the LRT on the stations ahead because trust me, it’s like an impossible feat. Ask me to travel like that everyday to work, I don’t know if I’d ever survive. I do not mind taking the LRT but I’m just scared of travelling during peak hours. It’s just…WOW
6. Yesterday it was nice though it was crowded in the LRT. A guy was talking aloud…I don’t know who he was talking to since half the time no one actually responded. When he got off the LRT, he said, “Have a great day all. REMEMBER TO SMILE!”
7. How can you not smile upon hearing that?
8. Funnily, not everyone smiled.
9. Maybe it’s really stressful taking the LRT?
10. But I did…and the guy standing next to me was also smiling when our eyes met.
11. But he is taken.
12. Because a girl who got off earlier than him was touching his face before that.
13. Today, it wasn’t nice because a guy was standing so close to me. Our butts met.
14. I know it’s unavoidable but…our butts met, you know? It’s like…why must our butts meet?
15. The reason why I’ve been taking the LRT is because I am attending training in the city centre.
16. I’ve got new friends. A malay girl who sat next to me and an Indian girl who sat to my right.
17. I’ve been lunching with the Malay girl. I love myself for initiating a conversation with her. I think I’m getting better at this. Making the first move. I also talked to another new colleague who joined me for training and though it didn’t last long, I’m glad I made the first move.
18. I like my new friends though I don’t know if I’ll ever meet them again.
19. I scraped the rims of my front tyre while I was parking…in the name of rush. *sigh*
20. I performed C-section on my soft toy duck, Bebeki. Remember which one?
21. Apparently, there’s some bugs growing inside its stomach. I know it’s hard to comprehend this but just imagine it okay? There’s this aromatherapy or dried flower thing in its tummy that I can microwave and put it into its tummy and when I hug the toy, it gives me a warm feeling. But because I’ve got no microwave at home and I’ve not heated that thing even once…maybe that’s whole the bugs came alive.
22. I didn’t realise it until last night when I switched off the lights and jumped right on to the bed and then got bitten.
23. If I was too exhausted, I don’t think I’d even bother.
24. But I felt something wasn’t right so I woke up, switched on the lights and inspected my beds.
25. I thought I grew fleas on my body…there were little black creatures crawling on my bed!!!!!!!!
26. Inspected every inch of the pillow, pillow case, bed sheet, mattress, blanket, towel, DUCKY but I cannot find any trace to the bugs…until I saw Bebeki and I decided to strip open its stomach to check.
27. Lo and behold!! There were a few bugs in there but I cannot imagine how many there are inside. I put Bebeki in a plastic bag, tied it and went to bed. Bug finding…is for tomorrow (which is today). I’M TIRED.
28. Bebeki is lying on the sofa now…remained unstitched. Poor Bebeki.
29. I think that’s about it for today, yesterday and the day before yesterday.
30. Oh..I actually saw two men fighting. A man rushed out of his car,,ran towards another car. Scolded and asked questions. Man from car came out with a bloody STEERING LOCK, followed by a woman, maybe his wife, who I believed her intention was to stop any bloodshed. I mean…why must someone take a steering loud even when one is in anger. It’s just not right lah. And he’s SO OLD LAH.
31. I was stunned, just standing by the roadside with my mum because we were on our way to the pasar malam when the guys started making a scene. The guys starting shouting and trying to grab each other while the woman was trying to stop them. Screaming and more screams. Another lady who was in the car of the first man who came out, kept sounding the horn and waving to others for help. If I were a guy, maybe. But I don’t know how to help in situations like that…just thinking about the steering lock is enough right?
32. That’s why sometimes even though I meet stupid drivers. I just close one eye if I can. You don’t know when you’ll meet road bullies like that. They cannot stand being corrected, what more having their mistakes pointed out.
33. I once scolded my dad who kept staring at the car behind me. Trust me, I think he had the urge to show his middle finger too should I have not uttered a sound. The light was yellow then red. I couldn’t have possibly beat the red light but the car behind me kept sounding the horn. I mean I was mad lah. Cannot see it’s red kah? But I will never use the middle finger or do something funny lah.
34. Because I’m a lady driver and I drive alone sometimes.
35. Enough said.
36. I need to go to bed.
37. LRT, please don’t die on me tomorrow.
38. Thank you.

and it wasn’t scary at all. The male nurse was very good. He initially wanted to take blood from my left hand but my veins weren’t visible. It was there but it seemed vague. So, he tried with my right hand and I wasn’t looking at the the needle. Felt something like an ant bite and I was still thinking he was still searching for the blood vein. When I decided to peek, the needle was half filled with dark red blood.

So it was painless. Very good.

Had my urine test. ECG. Ultrasound.

Ultrasound was okay…nothing wrong with the organs that they checked on.

Now I’ve got to wait the results for my blood test. A bit scary but hmm…it’s like that lah.

It has been a month. How time flies and this time I’m going to have my first “full” paycheque of this new job of mine. The last time I got paid, it was only a week’s pay since I joined at the end of the month. That was easy money earned.

This time around, it is a little harder and it will get even harder next month. But so far, I don’t have any major complaints.

Now, I really would have to learn to talk. There is more talking to be done here. Meetings, etc. It is very different from the previous job where talking was minimal. I love the way how some of them speak, with such good spoken English. Listen also will feel syok.

Well, this was what I was hoping for. A job where I’ll be required to talk more. So this time I’ll get to practise it.

Don’t worry about the post last night. I’m all cured already … until the next time it happens again. Tomorrow is Friday and Saturday is blood test day. It’s going to be my first. It was a sign, I tell you. I was thinking about doing it but just thinking and not doing anything about it until the other day, they were doing a promotion in a shopping mall and I just signed up. Doctor/Nurse, please be kind on me. And I hope I’m healthy.