Green bean soup is cooking in the kitchen while I’m writing this. It’s been a long time since I last boil this soup. I saw packets of rock sugar while doing getting vegetables at the supermarket for dinner tonight and so I thought why not I cook green bean soup. With the recent hot weather, this would be just perfect.

Been feeling really tired that I’ve been napping immediately once I get home from work for two days straight. My days are filled to the brim and I find myself not having enough time to do the things that I need to do. With CNY approaching, it just seems impossible to get my spring cleaning done in time. But I will try to at least get the most important things done.

I want to get back to my writing ritual. I need to train myself to write something on alternate days at the least.

It’s been a long time since I last gotten very angry like I did today.

I’m very disappointed to say the least.

When I go out on a date with someone, I would put my focus on spending good time together. I expect the same in return. If the person is too busy to even stop checking his phone, updates his statuses, and not being able to listen to what I say since his concentration is with the phone and not his surroundings and the people around him, then I think a date is not necessary. And because it’s not the first time and also not the first time that I actually have to say it out directly of what’s wrong..that makes it more disappointing.

When someone says he’s sincere in asking me out, I believe him. And so I thought, I would just be more forgiving. However, the following date never happened because he overslept so I arranged my own dinner plans after that.

And then I trust that he’s really being very sorry for not being to make it to dinner and so he wants to make it up for lunch today. I waited and when the time came. I knew it wasn’t going to happen. He overslept again. This must be a joke. I felt like a fool.

I sometimes wonder why is it that it can never be right just for once. Why can’t I matter to someone. Why is it people say one thing but does another. Why is it so hard to just be sincere, as in sincere with both in words and putting it into action. And if it’s so hard to even be serious about something, I don’t see why I should hang around and be an angel.

I cannot afford to be nice anymore. And I’m not nice when it really gets to my nerves. With that, I’m drawing a line because my time is worth more than just waiting around for something that I’m not sure if it’s ever going to happen.

I rest my case.

I had wanted to go through all the entries in 2011 to recollect some of the memorable moments and highlights of the year but time does not permit. Though the date stamp shows 31 Dec 2011, but in actual fact, I’m writing this on 3rd Jan 2012 and I’m just backdating my entry. Had been super duper busy and I’m just squeezing time out to write this even though I’m really very sleepy now.

So…I’m just going to recap whatever I remember happened last year. At least those that I can remember are significant and vivid ones that are worth mentioning so I guess that’s good enough. Reason why I have to do this obligatory recap is to remind myself of what I’ve achieve and what needs to be done if I’ve not achieve what I’ve set for myself.

Here we go…in point form.

1. Had my braces removed after 3 long years. One of the best thing I’ve done and I applaud my patience because the dentist had projected that it would only take 1.5 years but the timeline doubled to 3. Nevertheless, I’m one happy lady. Sometimes I still smile to myself to admire my properly-aligned teeth.

2. Travelled to 3 new countries. Signed up a tour package and went to Taiwan with my family. Planned our own trip to New Zealand. I loved those driving moments on the roads of NZ. The only regret is that I wasn’t letting go enough when I was there because I was worrying about the logistics of the trip. When you go to NZ, you got to make sure you have lots of ample time and you got to go slow. Travelled to Australia for a business trip. Was a little lost because it was too short and too crammed and too near to flying just after getting back from New Zealand. Nonetheless, I’m still one happy lady because I just love travelling.

3. Took up Korean language. This is definitely the best thing to happen in 2011 because it made me very happy. It’s not easy but it’s challenging and fulfilling. Just learning the language makes me feel happy, I can’t explain why. Love writing those characters. Love holding a pencil and write.

4. And when I thought my previous resignation than the one before this was emotionally draining, this was worse. When I thought I couldn’t let go, I’m letting go and I’m over it faster than I thought. Despite what happened, this previous job and working place of mine is special in its own way to me. It has taught me a lot and I’ve met people with different characters in very dramatic scenes.  With that, when you enter a milder environment, it’s less taxing for the mind and soul. It’s not all bad because I also had the opportunity to meet and work with the nicest people in my working life so far.

5. New Myvi. White. 2.5 month old but already has a scratch in the front. Ouch! Can only blame myself for bad judgement of distance because I wasn’t used to the front car length. But I still think it’s an excuse because dude…I shouldn’t have been too confident. Argh! Whatever. I will treat her extra well now.

6. My hair is long now after having short hair for 3 years. It’s as long as I had my braces. And I made a statement….that once my braces are removed and my hair is long, love will come. And I’m still waiting…

7. Santa heard me this year. I didn’t want any gifts. I just wanted a problem to be resolved. This has been haunting me for 4 years. Sometimes I’m amazed I’ve not gone crazy yet. There’s a saying that says “It’s going to get worse before it gets better”…which applied to this situation I was in. The problem is not entirely and completely resolved yet but it’s definitely moving in the right direction.

And for all the above, I’m very thankful with what I have and what I had.

There is an elderly woman in my Korean language class. I got to know yesterday that she’s 70 years old. My teacher told the few of us that she is still working and yet she spends 2 hours a day, learning and revising homework, which explains why she is good despite her age. With that, I have no excuse to not do well and master the language.

Whenever I feel that I have no time to do some self-learning on my own, I will always think about the 70 year old lady. Whenever I think I’m too old to start something, I will think about the 70 year old lady. Whenever I feel like giving up, I will think about the 70 year old lady. As long as I am still alive, I should always be learning.

Taking up the language has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself this year. This is the only thing that pushes me to want to be better, to want to improve myself, the more I study and learn about it, the more I discover I don’t know much about it and the more I want to know about it.

Today I would like to say thank you to the 70 year old lady. I don’t know her personally but she is already a role model to me.