Tears…They are Salty

After writing last night, I went to bed and before I close my eyes, I sent him an SMS to say good night whether or not he is already asleep. It was already midnight you see.

“I’ve already booked the tickets.” wrote he. *memoirs of the geisha* tee hee hee!

I called him right away, just to talk. And it was a long one because I cried so hard, just telling him my stories and he gave me lots of his advice and opinions which I loved listening to. They were things I already knew but when someone tells it to you in his own way, it’s different. I cried even harder just listening to that.

Woke up this morning with such bee-stung eyes, which in this context didn’t seem to appear very sexy. Went to work with this very dried heart since the tears are long gone. Not expecting anything but the worse. It was okay for me today because I felt less heartsick.

The new girl asked me, “How is it working here?”

I’m afraid I’m not the best person to answer that, given the situation and the feelings I’m going through right now.

I could only utter, “It’s okay.” Not wanting to sound very promising nor very discouraging.

Didn’t go to fight at the gym today because I was very tired and sleepy, with all the crying and talking to customers on the phone. My colleague felt the same too but not because she was sleepy but because she simply didn’t have the mood. “I’m tired. Kena marah.”

Silently I said, “Saya faham.”

I came back from work and dived onto my bed, hugged Ducky and slept. I just want to forget about the world for a while and have a good rest. I can bathe and eat later.

On a side note, I also got an email from Pappy which comes with an attachment. He found it in one of the Sabah papers, scanned it to me and attached it as a file. It was a job advertisement for positions in KL. A simple act from him but means so many things to me. It can mean, “Don’t give up.”, “It’s not the end of the world.”, “I love you.”, “I just want you to be happy.”, “Please don’t cry.”

I love you too.

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