I hate my job.
I’ve got a present today from the boss for having the best average handling time and another category – I don’t know what it is- for the previous previous week.
He asked me to choose between two remaining gifts. It happened after he gave out the other presents to 3 other people who performed well for the past few weeks. I didn’t come into the picture because my statistics didn’t look good since I was on leave during Chinese New Year. I don’t know whether Mr.Boss felt bad that I was the only one in the department today that didn’t get anything which led him to offer me to choose the remaining gifts. But I shall take it as he really appreciates that particular week in which I’ve performed well.
I should be happy, really. But I’m not.
Makes me wonder too how one can still perform well when given a job she finds unfulfilling and is so very sick of. So, I think there is really a difference between doing something fulfilling but you failed and doing something unfulfilling but you succeed. When you do something you enjoy doing but you fail, it keeps you doing it again and again till you succeed. But if you do something you hate and merely just telling yourself to just “do, do, do”, maybe you will succeed but it will not necessarily make you happy.
Iris asked me over dinner what gift I want for Valentine’s Day.
“Do you want the polar bear? I buy the polar bear for you.”
“Don’t want lah. So expensive.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I want a new job.”