I’m sorry but I just needed to spill this out.
I come home feeling more tired than I used to be. I leave the office earlier as I used to be in my previous job but I feel more tired than before. It’s not that I’ve so much to do that it tires me. I just don’t have enough to do that tires me.
What I’ve been experiencing so far especially the first week into the new job was indeed culture shock, which I never knew existed. Hopping out from an international giant to a smaller company requires lots of self-adjustment. Something I’ve been telling myself to adapt with even before I started the new job.
Everything seems different. From the way people work, my manager, languages used and etc.
You see a different set of people. Some are nice. Some have a screw stuck in their head. Like yesterday, I tagged along with a senior to check why the computer is not able to connect to the network. What I’ve discovered is I don’t really enjoy looking at cables and wires. They intimidate me. They look all the same but they are not all the same. Server rooms are cold. Servers alone with hub, switch and routers are lonely creatures because they are always alone in the room.
As I was waiting for my senior to come back from the server room, there was a lady alone in the office. I asked for her name, just wanted to be friendly. And guess what? She looked at me like as though I owe her a thousand bucks and then gave me her name. I didn’t know what to say. I just repeated her name and made sure I got it correct. She didn’t said a word but I no longer was interested in telling her my name.
People can be so bitter. I feel sad for these people.
Anyway, I’m sad today. I have so much to write. It’s all in my head but I just have got no mood to write.
Going to work gets very painful with each passing day. I don’t like my job. I don’t like my job. I don’t like my job. I don’t like my job.
I must work harder. I must try harder.