He didn’t reply my email but instead we waited for him to come back into the pantry.
And then I started to ask him questions. This is so not Grace I tell you. I don’t know who I am during that short period of time. But it’s good.
This is not a love story, okay?
Anyway, sometimes I am very afraid of who’s reading my blog. My boss? My colleagues? Whoever you are, just don’t tell me you are reading my blog okay? Unless your love towards my blog surpasses even the highest mountains, then you can tell me.
My first boss used to ask us if we have a blog. No one really answered even though I know some of them have blogs. I don’t know lor. You see me always ranting about my daily encounters with beloved customers and if my boss reads it, what do you think he’ll think?
So kan, I’ll just write like no one’s reading. Of course, I can’t write out every details because there are limits to it. But the piece I wrote the day before yesterday was so not Grace also lor but I just had to write it lor if you know what I mean. And today, I feel so much better. I have stop imagining about things that wouldn’t happen. And instead of hiding and compiling and keeping and surpressing the feeling, I write it out even though I really feel like so malu to express it in such a way, to the whole world who’s reading this.
Something that is hard to write often give me such pleasure and contentment that is undescribable. It’s like you have finally come to terms with yourself and your feelings. Sometimes, don’t we just feel wrong to feel the way we are feeling? I feel like I’m always feeling the wrong feeling most of the time. (I think I know why, that’s cos I’m perasan.)
But then it’s okay to feel how you are feeling because that’s what feelings is all about. I used to think it’s not good to dislike things that you don’t like. So, I’m always trying to find reasons to like things that I dislike because I don’t want to feel what I was feeling. But now, sometimes I just don’t bother. Don’t like means don’t like.
Going to bed now. Have got to work tomorrow. I look forward to go to work tomorrow even though most of you will be sleeping in. I like my job lor. For the very first time, I can say this out loud.
This is one of my latest feelings, okay?
Sometimes I feel like it’s not even work. I used to be so stressed up. I used to work so fast. All I ever talked about during work, after work, during weekends was customers, customers and customers.
Now, I can listen to music instead of listening to the phone ringing all the time. I don’t talk to you about customers anymore. Sometimes, I cannot believe it is happening. There are times when the songs are so good, I want to sing out loud. But I cannot and I have to remind myself I’m in the office. So what I’ll do is to lip-sync.
Maybe the stress and pressure has not pour in yet but I guess it would be a good amount to keep me going. I want to learn more things.
One thing similar. The one I report to previously and now are very nice people. They are of the same species. Good human being. This is too good to be true. It is true so it’s really too good.
Ya, I say I want to sleep but now still tak henti-henti. So, tata and have a wonderful weekend.