Finally, There’s Response

He didn’t reply my email but instead we waited for him to come back into the pantry.

And then I started to ask him questions. This is so not Grace I tell you. I don’t know who I am during that short period of time. But it’s good.

This is not a love story, okay?

Anyway, sometimes I am very afraid of who’s reading my blog. My boss? My colleagues? Whoever you are, just don’t tell me you are reading my blog okay? Unless your love towards my blog surpasses even the highest mountains, then you can tell me.

My first boss used to ask us if we have a blog. No one really answered even though I know some of them have blogs. I don’t know lor. You see me always ranting about my daily encounters with beloved customers and if my boss reads it, what do you think he’ll think?

So kan, I’ll just write like no one’s reading. Of course, I can’t write out every details because there are limits to it. But the piece I wrote the day before yesterday was so not Grace also lor but I just had to write it lor if you know what I mean. And today, I feel so much better. I have stop imagining about things that wouldn’t happen. And instead of hiding and compiling and keeping and surpressing the feeling, I write it out even though I really feel like so malu to express it in such a way, to the whole world who’s reading this.

Something that is hard to write often give me such pleasure and contentment that is undescribable. It’s like you have finally come to terms with yourself and your feelings. Sometimes, don’t we just feel wrong to feel the way we are feeling? I feel like I’m always feeling the wrong feeling most of the time. (I think I know why, that’s cos I’m perasan.)

But then it’s okay to feel how you are feeling because that’s what feelings is all about. I used to think it’s not good to dislike things that you don’t like. So, I’m always trying to find reasons to like things that I dislike because I don’t want to feel what I was feeling. But now, sometimes I just don’t bother. Don’t like means don’t like.

Going to bed now. Have got to work tomorrow. I look forward to go to work tomorrow even though most of you will be sleeping in. I like my job lor. For the very first time, I can say this out loud.

This is one of my latest feelings, okay?

Sometimes I feel like it’s not even work. I used to be so stressed up. I used to work so fast. All I ever talked about during work, after work, during weekends was customers, customers and customers.

Now, I can listen to music instead of listening to the phone ringing all the time. I don’t talk to you about customers anymore. Sometimes, I cannot believe it is happening. There are times when the songs are so good, I want to sing out loud. But I cannot and I have to remind myself I’m in the office. So what I’ll do is to lip-sync.

Maybe the stress and pressure has not pour in yet but I guess it would be a good amount to keep me going. I want to learn more things.

One thing similar. The one I report to previously and now are very nice people. They are of the same species. Good human being. This is too good to be true. It is true so it’s really too good.

Ya, I say I want to sleep but now still tak henti-henti. So, tata and have a wonderful weekend.

Bridesmaid

Whoever wants to get married can consider me being their bridesmaid, okay? I don’t know lah. It’s like one of the things I must do before I die. I just so want to be a bridesmaid for once.

Terima kasih!

Feelings

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way before.

I don’t know if I should write this but I think I’ll feel better after writing it out.

I don’t know what exactly about that person that gives me a good feeling.

When I first saw him, I feel nice. And at the end of the conversation, I felt even nicer. It’s like you are bringing back a good story book. When you think about it again, all you have in mind is a book with some very memorable and quotable lines. A good story book is one that tells your story and his and how the stories are able to relate to one another. How similar but different they are. How you understand each other’s stories and you feel like there’s going to be more stories.

Sometimes, I feel like I don’t really need to know certain people too deeply to know how nice and kind-hearted they are. They just someone seem to appear as what you think they are. And as you get to know them a little more, everything you think they are becomes so true. They seem to hit at all the right buttons in you without even trying to start hitting in the first place.

Then, I’ll start to imagine how wonderful it is if I could be with someone like him. Because it is so hard to find someone like him. It has been a very long time since I’ve seen someone like him. Or you could say I’ve never seen someone like him.

The best part is you know you could never be with him because there is just no way. He’s already with someone. But I don’t feel jealous but I feel so lucky for that girl because she’s like the luckiest girl on earth.

I hate to think that my feelings are more than just that. Because I don’t want it to be more than just that and I’m putting out the fire every time the heart desires. Writing this out is part of putting the fire off. Know why? Because when I fall, I fall very deeply and I cannot fall deeply in this case. I can only like him as a person and be very glad that I have a chance to know such a wonderful human being. It’s a very cozy little feeling.

I know it’s just going to be a phase. A temporary situation. But the feeling is nice to know that a man like him still exists.

If someone ask me what kind of guys do I like, I will not able to answer you but I’ll know when I see him, when I talk him, when I’m with him.

I don’t feel like this everyday and the feeling is rare. That is why I have been refraining myself from writing about it for a few days already. But I think it is not doing me any good so writing this out is the only way.

????? ?????????

Syoknya Raya!

Indahnya sungguh di hari raya
Ramainya orang bersuka ria

We waited for the clock to strike 12:30pm before we rang our neighbour’s doorbell. Yes, we went to makan next door. The ayam goreng was simply delicious. Lepas tu, masa aku tengah ambil lauk, datang panggilan telefon dari True Fitness. Wei, who among you referred them to me?

Next stop is my toilet buddy’s house in Puchong. Her name is Anis. Aku sesat jalan but in the end managed to find my way with her mum’s direction. She’s got a very nice family. Her mum looks like her sister. Her Datuk is very cute and funny.

“Grace, kamu panggil saya Datuk ok?”

Her nenek bancuh teh susu for us and it was yummy.

Esok, aku pergi berraya lagi.

Saling bermaaf kita bersama
Lupakan saja sengketa lama

16

The day started off with 16 degree celsius.

Yeap, it was that cold. I know it was cold but I just didn’t know it was that cold. 16 degree celcius eh. I’ve never sat under an air-con that cold but today I did.

It was nice going to work today because it just didn’t feel like I’m going to work. The roads were clear and Rudy & JJ were so funny this morning. Sempena Hari Raya, they spoke Malay pula. “Say It To Me Baby” became “Katakan kepada saya Baby”.

And the funny part is when they sang, “Say it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh” became “Katakan kepada saya baby, iya iya” Aku ketawa!
And one more, “Hari Raya akan muncul esok.” The word “muncul”. Hahaha.

Had a nice talk with someone today. It’s so easy when someone understands.