Maybe it was the task that I was working on today in the office that induced the not very lovable side of me. Was trying to get it done from morning till I left work at about 8pm. So looking at the same thing from 9am till 8pm isn’t very pleasurable.
It was raining very heavily so I couldn’t leave as early as I wished too. On the way home, tears were dripping onto my cheeks. I felt it coming. I just felt like crying.
I was stuck in a crawl but I was fine with it because I didn’t feel like going home. I just want to be somewhere. I just want to be doing something. And to be stuck in a jam, is being somewhere and doing something.
I am perfectly fine when I am single. But when I fall in love, or so I think, I turn into a wreck. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way round?
I am always very happy when I go out with him. But I can also get very lonely, upset and restless when he’s not around. And I don’t want to be like that but it’s a feeling so most of the time, I’ll let the feelings to do whatever it wants and when it is satisfied, I become calm and lovable again. Writing this out helps a lot. So forgive me if I’m not making any sense because I’m typing whatever that comes into my head.
I love him and he knows it. But I’m not in a relationship, or so I think. So that makes me a very confused young lady.