I’m Not Lovable Today

Maybe it was the task that I was working on today in the office that induced the not very lovable side of me. Was trying to get it done from morning till I left work at about 8pm. So looking at the same thing from 9am till 8pm isn’t very pleasurable.

It was raining very heavily so I couldn’t leave as early as I wished too. On the way home, tears were dripping onto my cheeks. I felt it coming. I just felt like crying.

I was stuck in a crawl but I was fine with it because I didn’t feel like going home. I just want to be somewhere. I just want to be doing something. And to be stuck in a jam, is being somewhere and doing something.

I am perfectly fine when I am single. But when I fall in love, or so I think, I turn into a wreck. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way round?

I am always very happy when I go out with him. But I can also get very lonely, upset and restless when he’s not around. And I don’t want to be like that but it’s a feeling so most of the time, I’ll let the feelings to do whatever it wants and when it is satisfied, I become calm and lovable again. Writing this out helps a lot. So forgive me if I’m not making any sense because I’m typing whatever that comes into my head.

I love him and he knows it. But I’m not in a relationship, or so I think. So that makes me a very confused young lady.

3 comments

  1. Many times things like love and feelings cannot be explained, so it could be best to just leave them alone, and let nature takes its course. In other words, don’t worry about them too much 🙂

    I hope you’ll feel better soon!

  2. like i said, perhaps and perhaps not… let it be oh let it be and let it beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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