Boiling Point

Some people are certainly driving me nuts and driving me up the wall!

My mood for the past few days is best described as a drastically-ascending-and-descending-line graph.

And now I’m angry with myself for forgetting my bunny’s death anniversary which fell on April 17.

一日不见,如隔三秋

I love him.

And I hate him.

Sometimes I think I hate him more than I love him.

But when I hate him so much, I feel that I love him more than I hate him.

Each time after not meeting him for a long time, I tell myself that the next time I meet him, I want to be fierce and I need to scold him, to tell him I’m angry. But each time I meet him after a long while, I just look at him. And no matter how angry I am before that, I’m no longer the angry person I wished to be when I see him. His tired eyes. The look that is trying to hide the one thousand things that’s going through his mind. That cigarette in his hand. And the other on my lap.

I don’t know where I get the patience that always put me in a waiting mode that seems to cross decades. I know I’m exaggerating. Let me be.

Just as he was driving me back after dinner and wanted to bring me somewhere to jalan-jalan, his car broke down. He flagged down a taxi for me and I went home alone, while he waited for the tow truck to come. He wasn’t talking or answering to any of my questions while he checked out his car so I just let him do what a man’s got to do.

He called when I was about to reach home and then again when I reached home. My tone of voice when I got into his car before dinner was like he owes me a million buck, because I was angry and I just wanted to shout at him la. But tak jadi because the heart suddenly went cuckoo and so the feeling inside me was like milo mixed with tequila. Hard to decipher and decrypt.

Then after I got home, I talked to him so nicely. I don’t know lah. Aku sakit hati.

Today is the 11th of April

After depositing a few resumes during the recent career fair, I actually got a phone call 2 days after the fair ended and the next thing I know, I went for an interview today. It was too fast, it’s scary. Hehe.

Took half day on today for an interview session in the morning. Took me an hour to reach the place because there was an accident and thus the traffic jam. I was praying very hard in the car so that I’ll get to the interview venue on time, after seeing that I had to wait for at least 4 traffic lights to go green before my car could actually pass that stupid traffic light.

And when I got there, I was driving in circles because I was looking for the exact building. And when I finally found it, I parked my car at the open space parking area (thinking I got very lucky) and went right up for the interview.

As I was sitting down, someone entered the office and asked if I was here for an interview. She asked if my car plate number is so and so and claimed that I was parking at her slot. I apologised and then hurried down to re-park my car and contacted HR that I’ll be another 10-15 minutes late. The thing is that there wasn’t any reserved word painted on the parking box or any car plate number sign hanging around. It was just an open space parking so it was just impossible for someone new to actually know the parking belongs to someone. Whatever it is, I know she was pissed. But so am I.

I then looked for a parking further up. There was some space but it was a bit too far to actually walk from there. I settled with parking at a building opposite to where I was going for interview. I was late already and that was the best available choice then.

I sat for a test and then waited to be interviewed. I was asked whether I was interested in a position which I wasn’t told of earlier. I wasn’t so someone else from another team came in after that to interview me. I was starting to feel cold, bored and restless when I waited for about 30 minutes, staring into blank wall and my clear folder before the interviewer came.

The interview didn’t went well and I thought it was quite a disgrace too because for the first time, I actually had to say, “I’m sorry. I don’t know the answer.” when I was thrown a few technical questions. I really felt so bad. And from then on, my voice sounded like it’s stuck in the throat, I began to feel small and suddenly I just wasn’t interested anymore.

After the interview, went to take my car and guess what? A car was parked very near to mine. My car was parked vertically next to a pillar and the other car parked horizontally next to a wall behind of my car..which isn’t a parking space to begin with. Knew straight away it’s going to be tough reversing out…and as much as I would like to curse, I patiently reversed in and out for at least 6 times till I get the right angle before I safely get my car out of the parking slot.

Drove home and was still trying to come to terms with what happened during the interview awhile ago. I just felt lousy lah and felt like doing crazy things like sticking my face to the wall, walk around the house and talk to myself.

After lunch, I went back to work and suddenly the question came ringing to my head of whether I should just stay put here since it’s safe and relaxed and hassle-free….but I don’t think I’m gonna give up just yet.

I WILL TRY HARDER AND I WILL BE SMARTER THIS TIME.

I’m just tired today. Good night and Gracie, don’t feel too bad. Take this as a learning experience. At least, you managed to reverse your car out today.

|-)

Tomatoes and Oats

Last Sunday, I spend the entire afternoon watching The Oprah Winfrey Show on Hallmark channel. Pappy is the one who introduced me to watch Oprah many years ago.

“Grace, you must watch this.” That’s what he’ll always say whenever he comes across a very interesting subject showing on Oprah. In fact, I think everything discussed and talked about in Oprah’s show is interesting.

Alright, back to the story. I was watching “Ask Dr Oz” in Oprah. Very educational and informative and there was just so much health tips to learn that I was a little information overloaded. I felt sleepy..went for a nap..and to find that Oprah is still showing. I guess I watched at least 3 hours straight. Hehehe.

Suddenly I’m in love with my sunscreen/sunblock. It’s Skinfood Tomato Sun Cream SPF36 PA++. Tomato contains lypocene and in the test that was conducted on the show, it showed the difference between someone eating tomato paste and someone who doesn’t. Both skin were exposed to UV and results shown that tomato helped in reducing sunburn. So, I’m not going to look at my Skinfood Tomato Sun Cream the same way anymore.

I eat oats now and then but I would like to make it a compulsory breakfast every morning. Started having oats as breakfast 2 days ago, it’s a little bit of pain actually..because oats itself doesn’t taste good..so I had to mix it with milo but that itself isn’t enough to give it a wonderful taste. The oat taste is stronger than the Milo. But, I think I’m already getting used to it so it shouldn’t be a problem. Else, maybe I should go look for some oat recipe to make my mornings a brighter one.

I take oats before I drive home from work sometimes, especially when it rains. A rainy day means heavy traffic day, just like today. In fact, I’ve been feeling rather tired driving for the past 9 days or so. Don’t you feel that there’s just more cars on the road for the whole week? I don’t know where they come from. If I take oats then I don’t get hungry that fast so it’s good for me, when I need to take at least an hour before I can reach home.

Why should we eat oats?

  • It helps lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease.
  • Helps in controlling your weight
  • Helps reducing high blood pressure
  • Contains lots of vitamins and minerals as well as antioxidants

I’m writing this down to remind myself the goodness of oats so that I don’t cringe at the sight of boring oats.