Sorry but I’ve got to rant.
My mood is actually quite chirpy like I was excited and was parading to mum the new clothes that I bought which I thought was nice. Well, if it wasn’t nice I wouldn’t have bought it in the first place, right?
Then, the comments started flowing in. I looked thin. I looked old. Nothing that I wore actually looked right. My favourite skirt that I’ve been wearing suddenly got a judgment today that it’s horrible. I mean..I don’t know what is nice anymore.
Every time I put on my shoes, this white shoes that my colleague commented just the day before that it’s pretty, my mum would say I’M ALWAYS WEARING THE SAME SHOES EVERYDAY. What’s wrong with that? She will say it again tomorrow and day after tomorrow and the days to come.
Sometimes my mum makes me feel ugly. She comments about everything that I wear. Sometimes I really feel like suffocating. And don’t get her started to talk about my face. It’s never right. It’s always with pimples, pimples and pimples and pimples and pimples and bloody PIMPLES.
And don’t get her started about relationship. She’s always asking me to give birth to a baby. I don’t know when I can do that okay? Not with the lousy relationship state I am in now. And she’s always got this way of relating how I dress to why I’m not attracting possible suitors. So much so that I’m already frustrated myself, I’m feeling even more frustrated with how she’s feeling towards me and the whole thing. You think I don’t want to have someone to love me meh? I just don’t understand why they wanna treat me like shit lor.
I’m trying to understand my mum’s point of view. Like maybe she’s worried that I’m getting older and she always think this is MY MARRIAGE PERIOD. BUT SOMETIMES AS MUCH AS I TRY, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND. I mean what do you want me to do lah?
SO TOMORROW I’M GONNA WEAR UGLILY TO WORK!
since whatever that i think looks good on me doesn’t seem to be the right choice