I like people to like me. And I will try to make you like me.
I like to complain a lot. I only need to have one thing that pisses me off and that’s it. I may not complain out loud. I may not complain for long. But I need to complain when I feel it and once released, I forget about the pain or that matter that started the complaint in the first place.
I only complain to people I’m close with and to people that I trust.
Even when there’s someone who cut queue in front of me or I’m overcharged, I won’t complain to the person who cut my queue or the person who overcharged me. I will complain to people close to me when it’s not their business in the first place. Aku pun tak tahu kenapa aku ni begini. Or I will complain in writing…here.
I prefer bosses who values the life we have after working hours and will not see you as less of an employee should you decide to leave on time.
I like to think of the past and the decisions I’ve made. I also like to think about the decisions I could have made if I didn’t make the one that has led me to where I am now.
I would have loved the right person.
I can remain silent and expressionless for several hours because I get to sustain my energy.
I get tired very easily.
I need at least 8 hours of sleep.
Last night I dreamt about work. HOLY SHIT!
When I woke up from that nightmare, my hands were hugging the top part of my pillow, as though I’ve just got on a roller coaster ride with my hands up!
I figured that is enough to illustrate how stressful I am.
Tonight I don’t want to dream about anything and I’m back to work at 10:13pm. Preparing for a presentation. Something I’ve not done for what seemed like a few dinosaur years.
I tell you. I’m lazy and I’m tired. I wished I don’t have to care if my presentation is good or not. But I’m just made to make people like me. I want people to like me. I want to do a good job. Though I’ll always be complaining but after complaining and sulking and crying and pulling my hair and lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling and asking God if this is how my life is going to be at least for the next 5 years and then getting up again and wiping my tears away and staring at this PC again and wondering where and how I should start, I will end up doing my work too. Because I care.
But really…all I want to do now is sleep.
Gracie, just one more solid hour okay? Then you’ll have 8 hours of goodiness.
And I promise you, you are entitled to get yourself something new on Thursday night as a reward of the hardwork you’ve put throughout the week and as a token of motivation to carry on to the next.
Gracie the Macy