Today I miss my ex-colleague very much. So much so that I had to SMS her to tell her I miss her. Maybe it’s because I haven’t got a colleague I can get close to with here. In every place that I’ve worked, I will always have someone that I can be crazy with. Sometimes I think I worry too much about this into thinking that if I don’t find someone like that here in this new place, I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I know building relationship requires time. Looking back, it took me months to really really be close to someone so I guess I shouldn’t be in such a hurry in wanting to be close to someone in such a short time.
From having lunches previously where I literally can pour my whole heart out and have someone to understand me to now having lunches and keeping my whole heart into its place definitely needs some adjustment.
On my first day, I walked and talked like a tikus. Don’t know what the hell I’m afraid of.
Today, it’s better. At least I don’t walk like a tikus anymore. Don’t know just ask. Even if it makes me look stupid. I’d rather be stupid now than later.
But I think all these changes would do me some good. I’m the more reserved and timid kind so I need some exposure. I know I can do it. I can be less-reserved and braver but it’s the just new environment, culture, people and the adjustment that I’m going through that makes me feel like suddenly I’m so helpless.
Even though this is not my first time starting anew in a new place but I still have to go through the same feeling of insecurity and I worry about particularly so many things.
*pats on self shoulder*
*whispers to own self “you’ll be fine”*