A Dreamy Sunday

Hi Bunny,

I finally got you flowers today. Not roses but a combination of chrysanthemum and the like. It was when I passed that flower stall that I saw another stall which had roses for sale. Oh well, I think you wouldn’t mind.

It was a nice morning walk at the SS2 morning market. Was suddenly craving for nasi lemak so I got myself a packet. Mummy went to get her supply of chicken. The kind that is slaughtered as and when a customer places an order.

In the afternoon, we went for a session of foot reflexology. It was so good that I felt asleep. Attending to me was this Chinese chap…oh mamma mia! I’ll be coming back for more!

Washed the car. It has been like what….2 months? Yea, I’m can be bloody lazy I know. The car looks like a car now. Did I ever tell you that I love my car more and more each passing day?

Dinner in Kepong. Had bah kut teh. It was also so good, I had to have another bowl of rice. It has been a long time since I ate like that, I mean having an extra bowl of rice and all. It was a very hearty meal. Did I tell you I had crabs last night? It was also very good. Eating is a kind of joy I must say.

There’s this video clip that you must watch. CLICK!

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hope was high and life, worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine, untasted.

Dreaming of you,
Gracie

Seventeen

Dear Bunny,

It’s 17 April and it’s your death anniversary. You left me on this day a few years ago and boy you made me cry! I hope you’re doing great up there. I’ve always missed you and when I pressed on the machine to get the parking ticket at the workplace today, I murmured “Bunny!” and smiled at the machine. I don’t know what the hell that is for but I’m just telling you based on what I actually did.

If someone would ask me to describe a magical moment of my life, it would be you. You’re simply magic! Appeared just like that and made me the luckiest girl on earth. Even all the boyfriends and exes will have to make way for that coveted magical award. I LOVE YOU TO BITS.

I’ve never really had such a bond with a pet. The feeling was so strong that it actually broke my heart when I knew you’ve passed away. I’ll never get to know the real reason on how you left me but I’m really glad that you’ve come to stay even though it was a short 4 months, including the 1 month where I went back to Sandakan for my semester break and I was so afraid and worried that you might forget about me when I come back. Well, you still remember. 🙂

Nothing beats the feeling when I come home and I know I have something to come back to. I know you’ll be waiting for me. I’ll tell you stories which I recite in my mind and heart by just being with you. It wasn’t convenient to talk out loud then because the neighbour would be wondering I’ve gone nuts.

Bunny, I can go on and on with this so now you realised what an impact you’ve made upon me. I don’t think I can get ever forget about you.

I’ve owned rabbits before you came and it was really ages ago. Say when I was 6-7 years old. I would stare at them but I couldn’t touch them unless mummy takes them out from the cage. I can stare at them for hours. The rabbits then multiplied and some of them were not caged anymore. I remember this particular rabbit where I’ve helped in getting its head out because it was stuck below the pipeline. Very funny I must say but it was also scary for me. I was all alone and I wasn’t sure whether to leave that rabbit to figure its way out or risking to break its neck while I helped it out from that pipeline. Both of us survived the ordeal.

I intended to get you a few fresh roses like I normally would on this day every year. I went to a nearby florist after work but they only sold roses which were already wrapped in a bouquet and didn’t sell individual roses.

I had to rush to meet a friend for dinner so I didn’t bother. I’ll definitely try to get some tomorrow.

My life is a compilation of random things lately. I go out for lunch with slightly different people everyday which is quite interesting. I’m blessed with some really nice and friendly colleagues. I almost got something that is challenging to me at work. Just not confident but I know if I really meant business, I’m sure I can get it done because I wouldn’t have a choice! 😛 This is also unexpected but I’ll try if it really comes into my plate.

It was really nice to meet this friend of mine over dinner. (Thank you! 🙂)

Over the span of 2 days, I’ve been getting comments that I’m thinner than before and I don’t think it’s a compliment. Maybe it’s the braces…so from now on, I’ll try to eat more. I just need a little more flesh.

I need to enjoy the times I have with my roomie as she would need to move out in the coming weeks. It’s going to be back to the independent me, something which I’ve been very used to.

As long as I’ve lived, I’ve only got one regret so far and perhaps one of the biggest mistakes of my life. My instincts told me something’s fishy about it but my heart is too soft for my own good.  Bunny, you know about this story I’m sure and hope you see me through this.

Thank you for the wonderful memories. It’s enough to last me a lifetime.

Love you, love you and love you,
Gracie

Hatiku

I’ve given up hope on the previous guy who has left such a mark in my life. Maybe I’ll meet him again someday. Maybe one day he’ll appear. But for all I know, it is history. My heart comes with an expiry date. No matter how beautiful it used to be, the beauty has already fade away.

How do I know this? Well…let’s just say..my heart could only fit one person in the “relationship with a guy” category. So, there’s no way it could fit another. Now, I think I’ve dust off the very last pieces of him and my heart is lighter. My heart is open. Scarred, broken but healed. Ready to take on new challenges, sweetness and a new heart.

I think I’m having a crush. It’s nice to have a crush. I’m acting like an idiot lately. Always looking out for that someone and always thinking if he’s going to be the right one….and if I’m going to be the right one for him.

It feels like I’ve done this a million times and yet no matter how many million times I go through this, there’s always something new, something sweet, something frightening, something heart-pumping about it.

I came across a quote I like very much today…which I think came at a very right time. It goes like this..

Never explain yourself to any one.

Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it.
and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it.

Another one..

You cannot finish the book of life,
without closing it’s chapters.

If you want to go on…
then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages

Ceria

On my way here
Where I am now
I’ve learned to fly
I have to want to leave the ground
I’ve fallen hard
But I’ve been loved
And in the end it all works out
My faith has conquered fear

I bloody love this song. Been listening to this song on the radio but never seem to get the title to the song. I finally did today. It’s “On My Way Here” by Clay Aiken.

My mood is so ceria today. So ceria until I can walk on air.

It’s that thrill of getting to know someone new. I don’t know what it is. But we can talk. I’m just going to appreciate times like this and soak up the moment. Because life is short.

I Read a Book

Left office at 5:30pm and then spent 2 and a half hours waiting for my ex-colleagues for dinner. They were held up in a meeting so I had to spend more time in the bookstore…which isn’t entirely a bad thing. I finished reading a book within that span of time. I’m so proud of myself. hahaha

“He’s Just Not That Into You” was the book I picked from the shelf. Wanted something light and not too heavy. This was one. It was funny. You can catch me trying hard not to smile too wide and not to laugh out loud. Somehow it makes me feel that Mr.Bad Guy isn’t worth the wait no matter what excuse I give to myself to explain the possibilities of why he disappeared on me.

Sometimes I’m happy that I could actually put it aside and move on. Of course, it would sometimes come back to haunt me occasionally but it’s something I know I can manage to brush it aside if I really want to. I just want to be happy. Plain simple.

One line in the book that really really caught my attention and I think it’s so very true…is this following line.

You already have an asshole. You don’t need another.

🙂