It is 4am and I’m not sleeping well. Been tossing and turning on the bed so I figured to get up, write something, then go back to sleep. Maybe that would help. And suddenly, I just thought if I had someone beside me, like a boyfriend, it’ll be good if I can share with him what’s bothering me and then he’ll tell me not to worry and everything will be alright. A midnight hug and then I can go back to sleep. At this hour of the night, I’m feeling rather empty.
I’ve got new responsibilities to shoulder and I’m not really comfortable about it. Reason being I don’t know if I’ll do a good job and I always feel the need to do a good job, which is why I’m sweating over it now. Maybe I can handle it pretty well but I just don’t have the confidence right now…and I’m trying to build some of it in me. The thought of doing something new like this can freak me out. I would drill into the slightest detail and fret at them. This is so not good. I want to be positive and ready to take on the challenge. Thinking on the good side, perhaps the only way to conquer fear is to face it.
I hope I’ll survive tomorrow. Really. And if I do, I think it’ll freak me out lesser and as time goes by, I’ll be immuned to it, I won’t be afraid anymore.
Gracie, you can do it.
Keep your chin up. Don’t take your troubles to bed with you – hang them on a chair with your trousers or drop them in a glass of water with your teeth.