RM29

I’ve been thinking about something for the past few days. Anyway, when am I not thinking, right? Duh. I think ALL the time. ALL.

This is something new. I was offered something but I wasn’t sure if I should take it. It sounds new, challenging and exciting. Requires time and effort. I don’t really know how much time it would take and I don’t think I’ll know unless I dip myself into that. So it’s either dip or no dip. I’m the kind of person who would automatically say yes when offered something if it’s a favour to help someone and if it is within my means or I would make myself into thinking that I can handle it even though I’m actually doubting while accepting the offer to help.

Then, I take one step back and really thought about it. The pros and cons. I didn’t want to blow away an opportunity but I also didn’t want to overload myself. My principle has always been about work and life balance.

Even after deciding that it’s going to be a  “No”, I still feel somewhat guilty because back in my head, I do not want to be thinking if I’ve let an opportunity slip by but I have to be realistic too that one can only do so much. I do not want to land myself in a situation where I have so much to do but I can’t really focus or excel in it anymore. I rather have few but I will get the job done exceptionally well. People are happy, I am happy.

So, in writing this down, I hope I can put a closure to this. Whatever that’s going to happen, this is going to be my decision and it’s made based on the current circumstances.

Okay, that’s one thing.

I came home and found RM29 scattered on the staircase while getting up to my house. At first, I saw RM2 so I ignored it then I saw RM 5 and RM 10 notes lying on the staircase too. Man, why do people not want money? Haha. It’s so pitiful to see those money lying there so I brought them home. I’m still thinking of what to do with it. Hahaha.

Someone accompanied me to have dinner after work today. It was nice to have company and more often than not, I’m posed with this question a lot lately, “Don’t you feel bored?” Because they know I come home to no one and I’m my only source of entertainment. It’ll be a lie to say I don’t feel bored at all. For the past week, I’ve been singing a lot. The best place to go is Youtube.com. Get a music video with lyrics and just sing. It helps to sing out your sorrows.

Like last night, I was still enjoying the songs I discovered from my ancient hard disk drive that survived the test of time (haha) and sang too. Danced too. Like I was moving from the room to the kitchen and then back to the room.

Highlight of the day: Mr.Lizard is back. He appeared in my room and I looked at it and asked him WHY. I think it heard me. It went out of the room. This morning, it was hiding at the back of the bowl. I ask him why but it wasn’t moving so I gave it grace period. When I came back to the kitchen after a while, it was gone. Please do not come back to haunt me. Thank you.

The Week That Was

Foo Foo

Do you remember her? I found this picture while my friend helped me to retrieve data from a very old hard disk which was lying around for a few years, 3 years at least. That particular PC died long ago and I only salvaged the hard disk which I didn’t know if it was still functioning until today. I also have a collection of MP3s that I thought I’ve lost forever. Having them back feels so good. I’m playing Mika Nakashima’s “Find the Way” at the moment.

Got my brake light fixed. One side wasn’t working so I drove to a nearby car service centre to get the bulb changed. Each time I visit the car service centre by myself, I need to collect some courage to go. For some reason, I think I will get slaughtered in terms of price because if you were a car mechanic and if you were to look at me, you would think I know nuts about cars so it’s easy to cheat me. Haha. Or it could be the mechanic will be explaining in some technical car terms and I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. Maybe nothing is wrong but he can say like something is wrong and I would believe him. All I want is a car that is working. I’ve been doing this for so many times but each time, I still get that same fear. But there isn’t much that I can do with it since I still have got to settle this on my own.

And when I thought I already have one plate full…..more is coming. Know why we are afraid? Because you are new to it. But once you do it for the first time, the second time will seem easier and do it a few more times, it’s nothing. I’m still adapting to that and still feel a wee bit uncomfortable everyday but I know it’s all for the name of “growth”.

Thank you Nathaniel for your help with the sourcing of new PC (even though I fell in love with the one that I got at first sight and I just had to get it straight away and all I needed was your approval and to know that I was making a right choice. haha!), the formatting of the old PC, fixing my chair, the meals..You are very helpful and very kind.

A BIG THANK YOU AGAIN!  🙂

Mini Screw…Nope!

Hello people,

I’m slightly back to normal already. Yesterday, I woke up feeling restless and cried a little on the bed. Then I told myself that’s life and I should move on. Wiped off those tears and went to work.

I woke up today and felt so much better. Went to the dentist feeling afraid though. My orthodontist and another oral surgeon attended to me. I’m meeting the surgeon for the first time because the plan for today was to insert a mini screw to my back protruding molar. But after another x-ray scan today, it wasn’t advisable to go for it so I will not have to worry about that tooth until my braces is over. Then, I might need to get dental implant and it’s not cheap.

I was researching on the Web to see if mini screw would hurt. Imagining having a hole drilled to your gums and have the screw inserted to your bones. Geli kan? And that’s practically what I’ve been thinking the whole morning. I packed lunch from the supermarket, bought nasi lemak, tuna bun and marble cake, just in case I can’t really bite if I had a mini-screw. It was some sort like a last meal for me kind of feeling. So I was very relieved when I knew I don’t have to worry about it until later, much later.

Went to the hair saloon to get my fringe cut for free. Looks much neater and cuter now. Texted a friend to see if she was free to meet up. She was, so we hang out till 11pm, sitting by the walkway, listening to the band. It was nice.

Thinking back about what made me feel so moody and tension, seems so far away now. I’m ready to take on that challenge and I know I can do it.

Someone asked if I was having hypertension? Yea maybe a little since the beginning of the week…but it’s Friday now and I’m all good. 🙂

This Girl Who Worries Way Too Much

My eyes are about to close. Had a long day at work and I’m just tired. I was only trying to get some sleep when it time to wake up this morning. While I was brushing my teeth, the feeling of being worried and scared are all gone, so I ask myself why do I need to put myself into unnecessary stress and torture? The answer could be…so that I’ll be suffering for one day, think until my head is about to crack, worry until my dark eye circle are getting darker and my pimples are popping out….then only I’m satisfied…or let’s say tired to worry further.

Come what may!

I’m restricting myself not to check my work email at home because when I do, I’ll end up thinking of how to solve the problem I’m having and then it screws up my entire night. Like now, I’m resisting myself. I’m not like this one lor..and I don’t know why I just have this extreme enthusiasm to work so hard.

Tonight, my mind kinda flew a bit into the future, imagining how is it like if one day I’ll be quitting my job and become a wife.