The most important word I’ll need to emphasise to myself is FOCUS.
Lately, I find that I want to do so many things, I need to do so many things, I want to learn so many things….that I don’t know where to start, how to start and when to start.
I’ll be doing this thing for a minute then the next day, you’ll see me doing another, with the first one still not complete…but you keep seeing me drifting away as I go on doing other things without completing the ones before.
A very simple example would be…I have in mind that I want to download the printer driver and software as I turned on the PC but somehow…I end up surfing and reading about other stuff and then I forget about the whole driver download and only realised it after I switched off the PC. Very shitty I tell you.
I have books lying on the table because I’ve been telling myself I want to learn and pick up an additional skill or two.
I also have this habit on reading blogs and you know some of them come with multiple links within a blog, the tutorial or tips on how to do something…stuff on WordPress, web design, Photoshop, CSS and etc. I’ll be very excited, I’ll open whatever link I find interesting in a new tab. But the thing is…at the end, I just don’t quite feel that I’ve really learned something fully because I’m greedy, I want to read everything that is appearing on the tabs and then it gets too overwhelmed and then I bookmark everything….(but I also know I won’t go back to dig those bookmarks) and then it repeats again the next time I get excited over new stuff I find on the Internet.
I also don’t feel like looking at my savings account and credit card bill. Been telling myself to save but I keep buying things.
My car….I think maybe dah 2 bulan tak cuci. I tengok budak tu I kesian. And it’s throwing tantrum on me because the cover of the fuel tank sometimes do not want to pop out.
The only thing I can focus and be really disciplined is I’ll make sure I’m seated in front of the television every Wednesday and Thursday night to watch my Korean series.
I think I’m in a mess lor. I don’t know if I’m giving myself too many things to do. But I just feel that I need to learn something each day. I don’t want to let life just pass me by. I just want to feel skilled and be able to feel confident, to be really good at something because if you ask me now what I’m good at….I don’t know how to answer you.
Now I need to focus on sleeping and then I shall wake up tomorrow morning to at least complete one thing and strike it off my to-do-list.
If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.