It has been a week since I last slept in my own room. Mummy’s friend was here for a week and so I had to give her my room and camped with Pappy and Mummy. Slept with Mummy on the bed, while Pappy slept on the mattress on the floor. Pappy wasn’t pleased. Not because he had to sleep on the floor but because I couldn’t sleep in my room since there was a guest. He warned Mummy not do to this anymore and Mummy told me about it yesterday.
“Your father loves you very much. He asked me if I know how hard it has been for you.”
But it’s over now. I came home with my room waiting for me. But I also came home to an empty home because the guest has left and Mummy flew back. I was expecting Pappy to be around but I got to know from Mum that he’s flying back too for work.
The first thing I did when I entered the house was to walk to my room. I’ve not had a decent sleep for a week. I’ve been trying to fall deeply asleep among the loud snores from both sides, mum and dad. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I force myself to sleep. So for the entire week, I’ve been rather irritable and grumpy due to the lack of good sleep. It was natural of me to go check out my room because Mummy said she’s gonna get it ready for me before she goes back. Bed sheet changed and all.
When I switched on the light and saw a Christmas gift on my bed, I burst into tears. I don’t know how to explain that. I don’t know whether I was happy or sad. The thing is I don’t even know who got me the gift. It could be mum, dad or mum’s friend. The thing is it really didn’t matter who gave me that when I saw it because I walked out of the room, without touching the present and lied on the sofa at the living room and cried for a good 15 minutes. It’s also because of the look of my soft toys queued up so neatly on my bed, giving me that “we’re happy to be back at our original positions” look. You see…they all came with me to camp with my parents. Mr.Wombat fell into a ravine, Ms.FooFoo slept upside down, Bebeki was nowhere to be found under the blanket, Ducky survived.
I wasn’t having the best of days today. I was making and dragging myself to be productive at work. Managed to get the things required done but it didn’t come with a feeling of accomplishment. I just felt tired and annoyed to a point where a colleague was saying something funny and trying to be very funny and I didn’t find it funny, I got even more annoyed but I couldn’t show it so I had to just keep it inside.
Then, before I left work. I received a call. A call I always dread to answer. A burden I’ve been carrying for about 2 years now. When you allow people to mess up your life with you being kind. Was also close to tears while staring at my workstation but I couldn’t cry so I kept it inside again.
I was so determined to go get some “tong yuen” after work but I didn’t because traffic was heavy and I was already hungry. I wanted to make my day slightly better, even if it means driving alone to go get some “tong yuen”.
Back to the crying part…I went back to the room after crying a good deal on the sofa and this time I opened the gift. It’s a candle in the shape of a lamp. In pink. It’s quite sweet because it drew a smile on my heavily-teared face. But I still didn’t know who got it for me. Mummy was still on the flight so I couldn’t ask her just yet.
Went to the kitchen to get my dinner. Mummy cooked before she went back. While eating, the tears still gently poured down. Then Pappy called.
“Are you at the airport?”
“Yup, flight delayed.”
“Did you go to check out your computer already?”
“There’s something there, near your computer.”
I know he got me something so I hang up and went to the study room to check what’s for me.
It’s an iPhone. 🙂
THEN I CRIED AGAIN.
The gift on the bed was from my mum’s friend. I don’t know why she bought it because we are not very close but nevertheless, I’m still touched.
That’s winter solstice for me.