Getting My Feet to be Happy Again

Today is a no agenda day to help me get back on my feet. Happy feet.

Skipped Korean class and have decided to quit altogether once I’m done with this session. As much as I would like to continue, I’d have to acknowledge that I don’t have much time now that I’m no longer single. So I’ll be studying and learning on my own whenever I feel like it. Language is about lifelong learning anyway and I’m just going to rely on books and materials available on the Internet.

Met with a friend and I felt so much better after talking to her. Was able to compare notes and knowing that I’m not alone and whatever I’m feeling are valid. It may seem harder to take it in all at once but life is such that sometimes we don’t really always get to have it our own way. I’m just going to take things as it comes and to cope with the changes I’ll be going through. I’ve always been a slow boomer anyway so I don’t want to be harsh on myself.

Sent the car for a wash and that made me feel better too.

Home alone now, doing house chores. I won’t be able to get all things done today but that’s what I got to accept too and not blame myself at the end of the day of being inefficient.

I’ve been forcing myself to open my mouth more deliberately lately. I don’t succeed all the time but I’m trying.

I sometimes still find myself being awake at 3 or 4 in the morning but that’s cool. It will go away once I get things off my mind.

Started cooking again though its more to reheating stuff that my mum cooked and that’s what I’m gonna be doing until I finish eating them. It’s been slow because my sister has been working late a lot but I wanna eat healthy and to save up more money. Have been cutting down on rice too, been religiously feeding on oats for breakfast whenever I can. Munching on grapes during tea time. Slotting in time to swim.

Wanna make it a point to meet a friend once a month at least. Probably signing up for yoga once I’m done with my Korean classes. Should be easier because there will be no homework involved and I wouldn’t feel that stressed up. I like to be slim and pretty because I feel lousy with a big fat belly now. ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t want to go faster. I just want to go slower and focus on more little stuff till it becomes a habit and I won’t find it hard anymore. That way I can move on to greater things. I may still wake up in the morning, staring blankly like as though I’m lost for direction but I’m sure those days will be over soon.

When I get some personal time each day, I feel now. Just me and the stack of clothes before I move on to iron dad’s clothes. No fixed time of when I should get it done. And again if I don’t get it done, I’m gonna just count the things I’ve done today. There’s an article that says doing housework reduces chances of getting breast and colon cancer so I guess it’s not that bad even though there are more cooler things I’d like to do now.

It’s Sunday and let’s just treat Sunday as a Sunday.

Not Happy

Sitting on the couch in the dark because I just cant go back to sleep, listening to the prayers before sunrise of the mosque nearby, thinking about my bunny and wished I could hold her and tell her everything of how I feel.