For the past week, I needed to do a lot of self-talk in the morning to get myself out of bed to head to work. The morning is the most difficult time for me but once I get pass that, I am fine.
I’ve come to accept that I can only do what I can now at work and that there are things that I’m just not cut-out to do. This would serve as a lesson on what I should take note in my next job search.
I’m disappointed that it didn’t work out for me. There are things that I’m able to do and that I enjoy doing it but another big portion of the time involves me doing something that I’m not able to cope well with.
Just having to stare at the codes on the screen and to have only the codes staring back at you is a scary feeling for me.
The good thing about the past week is that I’ve began to lighten up a bit. I was able to open up more and to talk to people at work without having this tight, uneasy, awkward feeling. Again, I would have to acknowledge that I’m not the kind of person who warms up to others in an instant. I take time to build relationships with others. Even though I’d like myself to be better at it, it backfires. I’d like to be more assertive but I’ve got to allow myself time.