Depression #20: Shake No More

I woke up today feeling different. There’s a little joy in it but I was still cautious if the shaking would return.

I watched a heart-warming Thai movie today called “The Teacher’s Diary” and I was able to focus. Loved it so much. This is just my kind of movie. I do watch hero or action movie but I prefer something light, simple and heart-warming.

Overall, I’m seeing improvement in myself from the day I sunk into a depression relapse till now.

My memory is still not good but my appetite is back. Like it’s really back that I have to start controlling the urges because I’m not sure if it’s medication that’s causing the increased appetite or it’s just me. Either way I still have to watch what I eat and watch my weight.

I also had pearl powder which my dad got from the Chinese medicine shop. It’s said to give me courage (胆). Took it once a day for 3 days.

In short, everyone in my family and my fiancé have been scrambling around to find ways to support, help and cure me. From western medicine, Chinese medicine to talk therapy. I even went to see two neurologists to rule out that there’s nothing wrong with my nerves and both concluded that my shaking is caused by psychological stress.

I will not give up, will take it easy on myself and continue along the road of recovery.

최고의 사랑

Today is totally a me-day.

Went for Korean class as usual. Came home and watched the remaining 6 episodes of the 16-episode Korean drama “Greatest Love”. Feel totally unhealthy because I was watching it for 6 hours straight but….I just couldn’t help it. This drama just got me hooked on!

A very heart-warming, funny and light-hearted drama. I’m in love with the actor, Cha Seung-Won (차승원). I wouldn’t say he’s drop-dead handsome but he melts my heart. His character is cool and funny at the same time. There were scenes that just make you tear a little but it’s the kind of cry I like, makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

I enjoy the thrill of following through each episodes, and when you know you are left with just a few more to go, you keep telling yourself you need to rest or go to bed because it’s time up but then you tell yourself to just watch a little bit more, or one episode more…and when you reach the last episode, you can’t wait to know how it’s going to end but when it’s approaching the last few minutes, you know it’s going to end soon and it’s like you are going to graduate from this drama-watching session. And when it’s finally over, there’s this nice feeling that showers upon you. When you realise again that it’s finally over, probably a few hours later, you feel something is missing and that there is nothing to catch anymore, no episodes to watch. Another new drama series to catch you’d say? But I think I’m going give it a break….(I will see how long I can stand!!)  I think I will be safe because I have nothing on my to-watch-list.

Good night, my love, wherever you are.

Mamma Mia!

Last night was the longest working day of my entire working life thus far. I worked till 11pm with the rest of the team due to unforeseen circumstances. When I came home, it was almost 12 midnight.

The amount of pimples on my face..is just scary. The last time I had a breakout like this was when I came back from UK after attending Iris’s graduation ceremony. I think I have this tendency of breakout whenever I come back after visiting a different country. Maybe it’s the change of air..weather..or just stress.

Went to the dentist today and I was told that I would need to have 2 teeth extracted. One molar and one wisdom tooth on my right upper jaw because it doesn’t particularly do anything now since I have one missing tooth on my right lower jaw so if the upper molar is realigned, I might be biting on my lower gum, which would mean OUCH! I don’t know when the extraction will be done but it’s not going to be anytime soon.

Went for movie today. A movie I’ve been wanting to watch ever since I set eye on the movie banner. I’ve always love musical and Mamma Mia was the first musical I watched in London. It’s a musical based on ABBA’s songs and ABBA’s songs are evergreen and catchy and I don’t know who wouldn’t love ABBA’s songs. So when I knew there’s a movie based on the musical, I was very excited.

Mummy, Iris and I watched it together today and we enjoyed it very much. It was pure 2 hour pleasure. How the storyline matches the songs or rather how the songs bring out the storyline. How meaningful those lyrics are. Makes you wanna sing…makes you wanna watch it all over again. If any of you plans to watch this, I don’t mind coming along to watch it again! 😀

Mamma Mia

And as always, I’m now playing ABBA songs repeatedly. They are stuck on my head now. Humming it whole day already.

Kung Fu Panda!

There’s no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.

Kung Fu Panda

Went to watch Kung Fu Panda at Alamanda Putrajaya with 2 of my colleagues after work. Loved it! Po, the Panda is VERY COMEL and I love his expressions. VERY COMICAL. I love Master Shifu’s bushy tail. He’s a red panda by the way.

Put up at my colleague’s place as we had a late night. We went yamcha after the movies and yakked till 1:30am.

Had breakfast this morning with another colleague and then we went to Sunway Pyramid to jalan-jalan. Lucky we were there early for it was very crowded because it was a public holiday and because there was Roxy’s Summer Splash at Sunway Lagoon. I had the most delicious lunch today at Dragon-I. It was the most delicious because right after my jalan-jalan session, I visited the dentist and am now “proudly” on braces.

I look like robocop now. I can’t really close my mouth. Well, I mean, it’s closed but my mouth seems to be pouting a little because of the braces. Doctor took a picture of me before he put on the braces for me. I guess it’s for the before and after effect pictures. 🙂

I don’t know how painful it will get but so far, it is fine. There is something there hugging my teeth, it’s a bit tight but it’s not painful. Doctor gave me some painkillers, an Oral-B toothbrush designed for braces, a few interdental brushes to clean my teeth when food particles get stuck in between the braces, and a mouth rinse. Oh, and something for me to stick on my braces should I have ulcers..and the ulcers will go away.

I cannot eat one hour after I’ve put on the braces and I need to go on a soft diet, especially for the first 3 days where I’m not allowed to touch meat. And that is why I said the lunch that I had will definitely be a meal that I’m going to miss. OMG, suddenly I feel like I miss food so much.

But I will not despair. No pain no gain.

There will be some adjustment to be done to get used to my current teeth situation. I’m already starting to think of what I can eat for this whole week. Porridge I guess. Tofu. Oats. Boring I know. Haha.