Depression #22: Morning Depression Disappeared

I was waiting for today to come as it is the day I’ll be travelling to China with my family. The main intention of this China trip is to visit a Chinese doctor, Miraculously, my morning depression just vanished today as I woke up early to get ready to go to the airport. It took me a week to pack my suitcase due to my failing memory. I packed as I could remember and each day for one week I put items into my bag till it was ready to go on a 10-day trip. I guess I was looking forward to it so much and it gave me hope that I will be cured that the depression condition seemed to have took a turn for the better.

I will spare the details of my visit to the Chinese doctor because unless you’ve seen and experienced it, what I’ll be telling will seem like a magic or a fairy tale. I will never forget the experience I went through and I’m grateful to my family who came with me and my uncle who organized this trip.

In Western doctor’s view, my condition is known as depression. However, in Chinese doctor’s view, my condition is hormone imbalance. From what I understand, hormone imbalance can lead to depression so I might be having both. In Chinese term, I was born in summer hence there’s a lot of fire in me. And the period where my depression is the worst (which happens to be on my birthday this year and last year – month of July which is also a summer period), it is bad for me. Especially so that this year is the year of the Fire Horse…it adds more fire than I need.

What I need is to reduce the secretion of enzyme in my heart and increase the secretion of enzyme in my liver and kidney. This would restore the hormonal balance for my body. I’m still searching for power foods for this but what I’m doing currently is to take 2 table spoons of black fungus and a drink of black bean powder mixed with black sesame in the morning. This is because black colour food supports the kidney and kidney supports the brain. Brain = mental health.

During my trip to China, you’ll see black fungus in the menu a lot and I’ve been eating a lot of black fungus. It has become one of my favourite food by choice.

I’m taking the Chinese medicine that was prescribed and I’m also continuing my course of anti-depressant. I was a bit hesitant to take both at the same time, especially the anti-depressant which has never been my favourite kind of medicine but this time I’m just going to listen to my doctor. The last time I didn’t finish the whole course because I thought I have recovered and there were moments during the depression relapse that I wonder if it’s because I got off the medication on my own will too soon than what the doctor would like to. Anyway, it’s the past and this time around, I will stick to it till the doctor says it is time to wean it off.

I went for a follow-up yesterday and the doctor said I improved tremendously. It was such a happy thing to hear. He asked me what I want from now on. I told him I want to maintain and keep on improving. He also advised me not to rush into finding a job until I feel ready.

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