Happy Birthday

Ever since Streamyx went down for 12 days and I didn’t post a single entry during that period, readership has declined rather drastically. Like half of it. For example, from 10 readers to 5 readers and it’s getting lower. That could be the reason or what I write isn’t really interesting anymore, which I think should be the next big reason.

It’s like I’m suffering from writer’s block.

But I’ll try to write something today in summary form.

He called at 12 midnight to wish me happy birthday and I was so happy I went back to sleep with a smile.

Colleagues wished me happy birthday and the SMSes started to pour in. My so-called insurance agent called as well. I say it’s “so called” because I’m not her client but maybe she sees me as a potential client even though I have already mentioned to her I am not going to commit to any insurance/investment plan at the moment…since I’m very broke. So, I don’t know to see it as her being friendly and she wanted to buy me dinner. Or she’s just being persistent and wants me to sign up with her.

Went to the pantry, came out and to find a packet of “Dahfa Fish” sitting on my desk. Very funny, really. But it made me happy.

Went out for lunch with colleagues but I had to pay for my portion. Maybe I shouldn’t complain.

A colleague asked me if I would mind her giving my MSN ID to a friend of hers. So today, I got to know someone new who’s actually working one block away from my office. And he wished me Happy Birthday. He knows where I come from and all. No comment.

Drove back from work and stopped somewhere near my house to meet him. As usual, he likes to act cool. I didn’t see him with any visible present in his hands. Then, he took out a watch. Took off the watch that I was wearing and helped me put on the new watch.

I’m not the kind who go “Aww, this is so nice!” in super-happy mode even though I’m super happy. It’s like it takes some time for the emotions to really surface…and it’s particularly harder for me when I’m in front of someone I like. I don’t know why. So I just smiled stupidly and still trying to control my stupid smile, uttered a soft “Thank you” which really meant thank you but it didn’t actually sounded like I sounded very much thank you like how I really am thankful and happy. I know you’re starting to lose me. But hang on.

Then there’s this thing called as the “birthday kiss” or just kiss which I don’t know why he always does it in public. According to my definition, public means when there are more than just us around. And I’m also not the kind of girl who would kiss in public but I cannot refuse it because it may be seen as a sign of rejection and that I do not love him. And I’m starting to think that his way to show affection is sometimes actually through kissing. But it actually felt good just now.

Came home to be greeted with two loving parents. Showed Mum the watch and she asked who gave it to me. I told her I don’t know.

Had dinner. Cut the cake.

Flashed the watch to Mum again and she asked who gave it to me again. I told her it was from him.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“I don’t know.”

You know, sometimes I just wish I could just tell my parents about him but it’s so very hard.

The first question I always get is “What does he do? Does he have a certificate?”

Mum already knows the answer but she keeps on asking me about the same thing, hoping I’ll give her a different answer. An answer she would find satisfying.

And I’m always bumping into or getting involved with people that my parents doesn’t seem to be really happy about even though I like them so very much and that they are not bad people. So, one day it’s going to get pretty ugly if I should decide to be with someone that they don’t really like of just because of the status, the education, the job/career. And I’m also not the kind of girl who would give up on someone I love just to be with someone my parents deem is more suitable for me. Maybe it’s easier said than done but I really hope this would not happen to me. And I’m really not that great that I have to have someone’s who’s powerful, powderful and whatever ful lah. I just need someone who loves me and takes care of me and vice versa.

To end the day, Mum gave me a lecture on how cooking, taking good care of the house is a very important part of a woman’s life. I am not perfect but it felt like I’m very much flawed for a while there. I can cook a little but not very well so that is a big problem. I do not memorise by heart all my mum’s recipe and that’s an even bigger problem because it is meant to be passed down from generation to generation? Maybe I need to do something drastic for a change because I’m often reminded that I’m already 25 years old.

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to those who wished me today and remembering that it’s my birthday today. The journey from now on…is going to get a little tough but I think I’ll be fine.