Hello 2014!

Happy New Year! 🙂

I started the new year with a new job. It’s a change of lifestyle. I have to wake up early to get to work by 7am and I get to leave early too. The plus point to this is I get to avoid the traffic jam. I wasn’t used to waking up so early everyday because I have been a bum, getting to the old office as late as 9:30am sometimes. The first week was tough. I had to force my eyes open on few days just so I make sure I’m staring at the PC even though I’m just practically blank staring to keep myself awake. The night seem shorter too. I’m in bed by 9:30pm to read so that I sleep by 10, latest 10:30pm.

I’m in my second week of work and it is getting better. Not sleepy anymore at work but I’m still struggling with the wake up part. Oh yea, I love to snooze. I can snooze for an hour!

Considering that I had to work today when the rest of the world enjoys their public holiday is something I need to get used to. I’m following the public holidays of a different country, that’s why. And it’s a lot lesser.

Starting a new job brings a certain amount of stress. I’m hoping it’s healthy stress for me. I have days where it takes some self-talk and effort to just show up at work because I’m still scared. I have been given things I’ve never done before and everything seems so new. It may not seem like it’s very difficult to others maybe but it is to me, at least for now. I get a bit panicky when I get something I’ve not done before as my self-confidence level is still low but I’m pumping that up.

Just like today, I was thinking about how nice it is if I was unemployed, resting at home instead of looking at this task which I’ve been looking at for the past 2 days and still had no clue how to get it figured out. 5 minutes before I left work today, I kind of got the solution and then I’m back to my happy self again. I should be able to sleep tonight because I didn’t sleep well on some days last week because I was worried about work. This also means that I’m back to my old self. The worrier. I don’t know if it’s good or bad news.

Anyway, it is not that bad so far. People around me have been very kind and nice. I look forward to building good relationships with people at work. I’ve been pushing myself to talk more. Oh yes, this is an effort for me too. Each time I initiate a conversation or manage to hold a conversation, I give myself bunny points.

Starting this new job, being in a new environment, surrounded by new people, feeling worried and scared for the past week or so have made me realised that I only just want to be HAPPY. I used to mind very much of where I am on my career path, of the kind of work I’m doing, how much I get paid. But if that’s going to cause my unhappiness, I will let it go. This thought just came to me this morning at work and I had a short teary moment of this sudden realisation.

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