Merry Christmas!

My Christmas eve wasn’t merry at all. In fact, I think it’s the saddest Christmas eve I’ve ever had. Know why? Because I was in the office, slogging off till 3am. Yeah, now that I got your attention. 3 freaking am. Reached home at 3:30am. After bathing and all, slept at 4am. That is Merry Christmas to me.

It was a difficult choice to make. I could have just excuse myself to join my parents for Christmas eve dinner. Mummy already booked the place and I was already all set to go but had to disappoint them at a last minute..at around 5pm because it was a matter of do or die thing. Wanted to join my friend also but how to plan when I have to work until like that? Was receiving SMSes when I was working while others were having fun and partying. Every Christmas message that I got also I didn’t really read it. Just glance through who sent it and got back to work. Only replied to messages of close friends…who were very shocked to know that I was still in the office.

It wouldn’t have been nice to excuse myself while the rest of the team worked. Just somehow didn’t have the heart to. Didn’t want to be labelled as a bad employee. But it also wasn’t very nice to have us worked like that on Christmas eve! Most of them could go back at 3pm because it’s Christmas eve…so I’m still very sad la..thinking that people leaving at 3pm, some on leave and me stuck till 3am. 🙁

I just have a feeling that I’ll be facing more situations like this. Sometimes it’s hard. You want to get your job done, do a good job…but you just got to sacrifice your personal time, time with the family and all. I very pantang working late one leh. Your face will become 10 years older. Can I not be put in a difficult situation where I need to decide to work or have a life?

I killed so many brain cells by just focusing, absorbing, and my heart raced so fast during 2 hours because of something. Wonder how the others can put on a calm face even though it’s already in crisis mode. I think I need to pick up the calmness-in-crisis-mode skill. I looked like shit and 3am really was my very last call. If I would have stayed any longer, I don’t know how I was going to drive back also. Drove home last night like a zombie.

Anyway, sad stories aside. Had Christmas dinner tonight with my parents, in replacement of yesterday’s. Other than that, had brunch in Sungai Buloh. Steamed fish head. And practically slept the rest of the day. Thinking about work tomorrow also I feel like vomiting already. But I shall persevere for another a half a day then I will get my holiday till next year.

Will take this positively. What’s done is done.

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